Don't make me use my handbag!
Saturday, January 31, 2004
Wow, have I really not blogged since Wednesday???
Crazy. You take one long weekend and that's it, you're completely out of whack. Not that I was ever really in whack, but... what is whack? Hoom. Righty-ho, now I do have something to talk about today, but my keyboard's gone all whacky (is that an unrelated 'whack'-word or is there some sort of link...), and I'm not sure how to start, so it may need to wait. Actually, when I say the keyboard's GONE all whacky, that's not quite true. It's been whacky since I came home (probably my fault), but it only reveals its true whacky self when under stress or when it's bored.
I broke a nail while playing guitar today. Just casually, none of my old pretend-it's-a-punching-bad-rriipp-there-goes-half-my-finger-ahh-aaah-blood-everywhere rips. I've been growing them, see, for finger-picking. How do you strengthen your nails, hmm? If anyone says more milk, I'll... well, consider it, actually. But only in the sense of more milk-->more coffee, because I hate milk otherwise. :-) Am seriously considering writing an article for Critic this year - maybe even a weekly? But I don't know where that thought came from, what I'd write about, and of course, whether it would be worth reading.
So I went to see Master and Commander a few days ago, and Last Samurai yesterday, and it really got me thinking. This is what I was planning on writing about. Firstly about the current blockbuster-drama trend; and secondly about some curious changes in my taste. These are linked. I don't know if anyone's noticed (except Jeremy and Abbey, natch), but pre-LotR there was a big spate of superhero movies, and LotR was kind of the odd-one-out because the only super-powers there were self-control and persistence and loyalty. SINCE LotR, all the big movies have been with realistic heros - Master and Commander is about a brave honourable sea-captain, Last Samurai is (duh) about the noble Samurai (and NINJAS!!!!~! SAMURAI VS. NINJA!!! SAMURAI VS. NINJA!!! SAMURAI VS. NINJA!!~! Sorry.)
And if you check the Oscar nominee ballot here - which anyone who wants to join in the fun (especially Abbey and Jeremy!) needs to print out, you'll see a similar trend... Seabiscuit, for example - though I've only seen the trailer - fits this 'new wave'. Now I confess, there are still plenty of other movies in production, but it seems to me that the public are hungry for real heroes, for - dare I say it, virtue? Now, it may be too early to judge that, but keep that in mind.
See, when I came out of Last Samurai, my mother and I liked it, but my Dad hated it because 'it represented all the things he despised.' He has a similar reaction to mafia/godfather type movies/shows, which I enjoy. Now there's lots to say about this. Firstly, the idea of despising an art-form due to its content. Now, that may sound hypocritical to some, and in a way it is. But I always try to look past the content/principle that I dislike and see the art-form as well - I would not recommend anyone see Kill Bill, say, but purely for the violence therein. ASIDE from that, it is an unfortunately extremely clever and well-made movie. I must confess, I do have my doubts as to whether even that assessment of the film is too liberal, but hey, I'm a work in progress.
Secondly, the idea of example. My father has often (angrily) asked how I can enjoy The Godfather (possibly my favourite movie) and be a Christian? He argues that it clearly promotes murder and theft and the like. And in a way that's true, and I'm not sure how to react to that. How do I act so as not to make others stumble in this instance? Must I take a similar stance as with Kill Bill, and though I enjoy the movie, neither promote nor view it? I would find that painful, I confess. Or can I instead look deeper and argue that the movie doesn't promote but villifies the mafia - it surely clearly represents a downward spiral of the Corleone family, all the way up to the complete destruction of all that is of worth in it. Surely that is a good message to see. So, I'm once again clueless on the matter.
But thirdly, and primarily, the fact that I myself am clearly coming to admire virtue and character, somewhat at the expense of artistic objectivity (okay, oxymoron, but you get it). Such as Joan of Arcadia. The show treats virtue and ethics admirably, and that's one of the reasons I like it. But some, like Jeremy, do not find it anywhere near as interesting, largely for aesthetic reasons. Now presuming that it's not simply an aesthetic difference of opinion between us, presuming that I really don't care as much about the technical quality or acting as the message portrayed (arguable)... er... that's interesting. Some would say the loss of 'objectivity' in such a case is woeful, but I'm quite happy with it. Especially if I'm not - as I hypothesise - alone in coming to admire virtue in man.
So is this a long-term thing? A post-humanist post post-modernist return to virtue ethics? Or is it simply a result of a fickle audience, or a search for reality and goodness in a post-terrorist world. I think this could be best summed up by Sam's speech at the end of Two Towers, that we're clinging to the idea that there's some good in the world.
Okay, I had more, but washing calls. Hi again to Kirk, interesting comments there, especially about the Yancey book. Question to all - is it better to believe there's something else out there, but not necessarily 'God' as some of us know Him; or to not believe in Another at all???
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Aue
Remarkably, there ain't a word in the English language to express my feelings, but that Maori word has plenty of levels of meaning woven into it, and is perfect. Well. I think most of you can guess a couple of things I need to express my opinion on, and that'll come, eventually. In short, Parachute (+ surrounding days) was fantastic, the Academy nominations were interesting, slightly disappointing, slightly exciting, and a little scary. There's been a film-geek banquet on the web while I've been away, so many morsels of information being chucked around that it's overwhelming. The Oscars were only the climax.
I'm exhausted by thinking about what I'm gonna write, I feel it'll be pretty long!
Friday
The drive. Relatively unremarkable trip up with Brendan, Thida and Cameron, one of Brendan's old old friends. Very cool guy, too. Car worked fine - got to Hamilton on one tank, 700+km worth! I was freaking out towards the end, what with the needle lower than I'd ever seen it (off the scale). It all worked out. Stopped off, thanks to an anonymous tip, at the new Subway in Waioru (!). Listened to some interesting tunes on the way up, including !Hero. As Bing mentioned, struggled with finding Ros' place, with no map and no petrol. But we made it. And yes, as I already knew, they're an incredibly lovely family. I felt most warmly welcomed.
Parachute. About 15 minutes drive away. Met heaps of people, including Lyds and Jen-Lin, just there for the evening, and Jess and Dave and Dan and others. Set up Cameron's tent and nipped off to see some acts. Music-wise, a very good time. I think I got more from the seminats last year, but that's understandable. Especially seeing as I didn't go to that many. :-) But Paul Coleman and John Burns had especially interesting things to say, about the semantics of religion and the romance of worship.
Saturday
A full-on Parachute day. If yesterday was the pop/dance day, today was the rock day. Newsboys and PC3 in the evening especially rocked. And the John Burns seminar on 'Intimacy with God' was especially relevant and enlightening. Simply put, JB said that earthly relationships were a shadow of what we ought to have with God - the biggest Romantic alive. That was a refreshing way of looking at it - the (true) cliche that God is Love became more real for me, Praise the Lord! Oh, and next time I go to Parachute, I'm gonna recharge my phone as often as possible!
Went into Manna too, and chatted with a hyperactive, tired Lizzie Dunn for over an hour. She apologised for being so crazy the day after, but as I told her, it was a real blessing. God revealed to me, through our talk and some seminars, the fact of worship. I'd been learning about its importance for ages, and was hungry for help with the act itself. I'm finally coming to understand that life is worship. When you live with excellence (such as not speeding - oops!), that's worship. When you get two hours sleep and still come to work strong and cheerful, if a little wacky, that's worship. Like Paul Coleman said, definitions are exclusionary - if you call music in church 'worship', all else is 'not-worship', a very dangerous conclusion.
Sunday
Predictably and thankfully, a Praise and Worship day. From the 20,000+ communion in the morning (which ran out of provisions - but they still appeared... instead of coke and bread, we got donuts and just juice!) to the Parachute Band/Solace/Hillsong United in the evening. There was also a Swing Dance in the afternoon, which was crazy fun. We didn't go to the ball later to show off our new moves, but it really made me want to do some dance classes this year. Booyah.
Oh, and the worship... yeah. The worship music, should I say. Partly due to my tiredness, and partly... not, I didn't really get into it. That happens to me a lot, especially in night services. But I was struggling with not being bitter/jealous about it, and didn't do too well. *I* wanted the spiritual/emotional experiences... was I not hungry for them??? I went home a little grumpy, but gave it to God.
Monday
SLEEP-IN! Yeah. So we missed a bit, but that's cool. Awoke with a strong sense of gratitude for feeling low last night, and instantly understood that it meant that God was refining me, for which I praised Him. Without that, I would have felt *worse* - in that the 'chute was an experience I came from unchanged. But it wasn't. God showed me how much stronger I've become recently, and that was so encouraging. And I'm thankful too, that I have so much to work on. A very interesting turn of events.
Anyway, Parachute finished, and we'd decided to spend the evening in Tauranga, with Jess' lovely family, Dave Lim and Rach Brown. Which was real fun, played heaps of games, had a yummy BBQ... fantastic!
Yesterday
Drove home via Tauranga town (and Alice and Lydia). Brendan got some driving in, which was good and relaxing for me. Good for him too, I hope. He's driving down to ChCh as I write this. Tried to get through to LifeFM again - we called up on Friday for directions, but hung up after I skidded around a road with a promising sign on it; stopped by on Saturday to ask if anyone knew what ON EARTH Ace of Bass' *other* number 1 song was (don't ask. I know it, finally!), walked past while picking up Sampat (more on him later); and finally we wanted to request a song. Didn't get through. MAN was there ever some crazy weather on the Desert Road! A big change from the scorching sun up North... I even got SLIGHTLY tanned!
In Hamilton, that is, not on the Desert Road. :-)
What else... a big hi to Jess' friend Kirk! I hear you've been reading, I'm not sure if you still are... but it's really good to have new people here, spread the word! Hehe. And comment, that'd be pretty funky. Ask me some questions, I love answering questions, especially challenging ones. Even personal ones. Talk to me, bro! :-)
A big hi to Lizzie... but then, I haven't told you about the blog yet. Remind me to. Wait, you can't. I'll remember.
I had other things to say about the festival, but they're gone. So onto the Oscars. 11 noms for LotR, 10 for Master and Commander... plenty for Seabiscuit (missed it! Argh!), Pirates, Mystic River, Lost in Translation, City of God... Cold Mountain didn't get many. I'm disappointed LotR got NO acting noms, nor Cinematog., but that's okay. Also a little worried about its competition, especially in the film and direction. One month - and since Celia's staying in Dunners now, maybe we can go back there again! :-) Best Actor's gonna be really hard to pick, some wonderful choices there. AND they nommed a 'A Mighty Wind' song... meaning it's gonna be SUNG at the Oscars! Yeah! Oh, and props to Keira, but I hope she doesn't win, no offense to her.
Sun's out, should get onto the fence... oh! Sunday and Tuesday, and a few hours on Monday, I got a job again! With the Gibson Group, again, doing the same thing, so that's great, that'll tide me over, too many commas in this sentence, I think.
There's a lot I want to write about, but I don't think I will. Oh, one more thing... Joan of Arcadia. Once again, it almost had me in tears last night (three consecutive weeks!); the first show that's done that since Buffy. And I daresay the show's as interesting as Buffy. And an awesome soundtrack (including Flaming Lips, J.)... but more interestingly, it tackles a whole heap of issues through flawed eyes... rape, racism, murder, grief, love, friendship, death, pain, family. Not in a cheesy, moralistic way, I mean, in a dramatic way. Highly highly recommended.
Oh! I lied, there is another thing. The Passion of the Christ is out on the 25th (26th?) of Feb in New Zealand, the first country to screen it! Just before the Oscars too... and that's O-week, and the Bible Soc is encouraging churches to get behind it; hopefully CE can maybe book out a theatre or something. I'm really looking forward to it, in many ways.
Longest
Blog
Ever?
I dunno. But I REALLY should get out of these PJs, it's almost 1. Well, it's great to be back, and I'm counting down the days until I go down (17!), but am much happier about the time gap. This year is gonna rock - oh, yeah, it could be painful, but that's all the better. There's so much OPPORTUNITY, it's so exciting. Plus I love all you guys so much, it was great to see so many at the chute, but not enough! :-) God Bless, see ya soon!
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Oh, it's late, an', an' I shouldn't be blogging...
But I can't leave for the 'chute without givin' y'all a big smoochy goodbye kiss, cos you know I won't be blogging until at least Monday night (or Sunday if you're Abbey). Don't have... anything to say. Thida's here, that's cool. Erm, just watched Death to Smoochy on Sky, that was cool. I just *know* sleeping's gonna be a mission tonight, but hey! That's cool. :-) I remember one time, when... ah, I'll have to tell you later. Nasty. And, er, gotta pack, now. And wisely, we've got four people in one car, plus two sleeping bags and a mattress. And any hitchhikers... nah, can't fit them. :-( See y'all later, have fun!
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
It's so COLD and WET and I'm as happy as Larry!
Now you know I've gotta ask who said Larry is... but I won't. Am feeling good, joyful. Not that that matters, feelings, that is. Nothing more than feeeeeelings. I feel cold, that's what I feel. But I was very encouraged this morning by my Bible/devotional readings. Basically, I've finally come to accept that this holiday has served a larger purpose - and has served it perfectly. The things I've been through (and NOT been through) have taught me patience and grown my chatacter; I've planted 'seeds' for future work in my career field, and learned things at the same time; I've grown in understanding of God and church and our role, mainly through reading; I've grown closer to God - well, it doesn't feel like I'm closer than I was, but I've kept it up and increased 'potential closeness' if you like...; I've improved (I think!) my relationship with my family somewhat; I've 'improved' (though there's still heaps more work to do, but that's not the point of this 'exercise') my prayer life somewhat and my heart for service, two things I wanted to work on; I've become more secure in myself and my faith and my abilities (in God). I'm sure there's more, but when you put it like that, there's a lot for me to praise God about, yes? Yes!
So that's awesome, and it's good to get it down here, get it recorded, so that if (when?) I doubt God's plan, I can be encouraged by past-me. 'Course, like I implied, I've still got a lot (a LOT) I'm anxious to work on. No, not anxious, that's another thing - God's showing me that though I'm flawed, and though He wants me to be perfect, He wants that at His perfect pace, not my frenzied, worried hunger for self-improvement. And in fact, it's good that I'm not perfect, because then His strength can shine through. It's more important to accept your failings than to try and improve on them. My failings.
Am also learning a lot about, erm, other things. Like the important principles Christians in general don't work by. Largely through Phillip Yancey (who I'm liking and praising God for more and more). In 'What's so Amazing about Grace', he talks about, well, grace, and... no, I can't say it better than him. If you haven't read it, you must. Especially if you're interested in Christian 'politics'. And the other book, ah... 'A Purpose Driven Life' or something. It isn't quite as interesting, but it does have some amazingly clear gems of wisdom, especially talking about how Christians ought to act in church, and unity vs. tolerance and all that jazz I blogged about way back when. So a lot of in-season wisdom has been coming my way, which is... well, great!
On that somewhat-similar wavelength, I was thinking yesterday about Ecclesiastes and why I love it so much. I think it's basically because it's a book of philosophy, and is especially pertinent against the humanistic environment I/we grew up in. And so it's become my philosophy on life - and hopefully that is expressed in this blog.
What day is it? Wed... Thida flies in tomorrow arvo, got a concert (two songs, including one from LotR - yay!) that evening, then Friday morning (er-ly in the mornin'!) we pick up Bob the Bingster and his mate Cameron (non-Christian... yet) for a drive up to chez Ros in Hamilton. I'm looking forward to the drive, and Parachute, and seeing everyone so much... maybe cos it's the big point of my holiday, or I hope it will be. God willing. Yayness.
Am just speaking with Celia on MSN, and have followed her advice and e-mailed the Otago Psyc department regarding a lab-demonstrator job. Which is rather... forward thinking of me. I don't like to plan ahead for things I'd rather not do, because I live in the hope that 'something better will come along'. But I think demonstrating will be quite fun... and maybe be a dipping pool for my cell group, too. :-) Heh, I semi-jest. It's interesting about the optimistic apathy I display, though... that's partly the reason I haven't taken a bum job (no offense to those who have them) this Summer, but also because I have faith that it's God's will to give me abundantly more than I could imagine. So it fits kinda well. With me, that is, not with my parents. :-)
Thanks for the comments, Gus and Abs... haven't heard much from Donnave and Gail in a while. Not that I'm complaining, I'm always grateful when they comment, just curious. Maybe I have, and I've forgotten. Hmm. And Ab, you might be right about the excercise thing... in Dunedin, I've got that hill, here I've got a car. I'm not quite sure what I'll do about it, but I'll dwell. Maybe some pre-lunch push-ups will do the trick. I'll give it a go!
STOP LAUGHING! :-P
Sunday, January 18, 2004
I hardly noticed that I hadn't blogged for three days...
Not 'cos I was doing anything time consuming, that I can recall... nopers. At first I couldn't blog cos of this keyboard (it gets bored with my typing very quickly and starts writing its own novel, but unfortunately it can only speak Randonesian), then... I just didn't blog. But I haven't forgotten you, or this blog! But getting out of the flow of things surely does make it harder to think what to type about.
Almost finished the fence, bravo. Just about... three/four hours left to go. Maybe tomorrow, although it is Wellington Anniversary Day - should I ask my parents for time and a half? Nasty child I am. Erm... had a concert today in Te Papa, with the choir - to be honest, the acoustics of a four story high ceiling in an open museum full of people kind of made things tough, but we struggled through. There's a mini performance on Thursday night too. Oh hey, anyone know Roslyn's number? Desperately trying to get hold of her before, y'know, we can *physically* get hold of her. I tried the number Bing gave me, but it was instead the number of an Asian woman who couldn't understand me. Trust Bing. He gave me Gus' number wrong too. :-) Love ya, bro. Oh yeah, Gus, that whole 'number thing' - I was in Timaru for an evening, wanted to hang - texted, left messages... couldn't reach you. No worries.
Oh yes, the Chile team left about 4 hours ago, IIRC, from Auckland. God speed to them. Yes, Jeremy, that's very fast. Keep them in your prayers, Sam says to himself as much as to anyone else. And IWT starts in Gisborne tomorrow (?), pray for that. Lou and Matt are now as one, congrats very much in order - AND they'll be at Parachute, nice effort there. Jeremy's apparently on the mend (but no doubt still quite miffed about missing the BDO, understandably - I'm sure we won't mind if we pray for his health and feelings of disappointment. Actually, he might... nah, I doubt it. He's very tolerant. And reading this right now. Aye, boss. Aye.) So, really, like most of this holiday, the focus seems to be on everyone around me (except when I complain real loud, yeah?). Maybe this is a good thing, teaching me that it's not all about me.
Did I just say that? Hmm. Uuuummm... rum-pum-pum-pa-da-dum. That was my drum solo, thank you, thank you, free sample there for all. Thinks. Well, yeah, Parachute's really the next thing on my list, I'd honestly be quite happy to sleep until then. Not that I've given up job hunting... "What?!" you say... "but there's only four weeks left, and two of them aren't even full weeks!" Well, yes - although I am willing to stay up here until late Feb if a job requires it. And I believe ("here 'e goes again") in a God of the impossible - and that is what I'm asking of Him. But to be honest, *anything* (paid or unpaid) to fill the next month will be most satisfying.
Of interest - I have Mecha-Godzilla-big problems with praying for other people, actually praying, I mean. I pray for myself a lot (not enough, but comparatively), but other people... it is, most unfortunately and humblingly (?!), a trial. So the last two nights I forced myself to pray for other people first, before myself, and before reading for leisure (before sleeping). Lo and behold, it worked, splendidly. I was very satisfied. Now I just need to work that into a habit and I'm home free! God really is giving me the power to do this. Oh, but on a negative note (well, not quite, because I know I'll work through it with a little Help and things will be much better), my praying language has got me bothered... no, not my language, my heart. I've started babbling, routinising my prayers. Bad path to go down, that. But that's because of my prayer language (hence why I mentioned it) - I'm sticking to what I know because I'm so blastedly pedantic about "praying right" that I forget that it ain't about words at all. And when you put it that way, that makes it both easier and so much harder. Easier cos I don't need to get the words right, harder cos I need to get my heart right. Like I say, it's something to work on - which ironically means praying about it! I miss 12PM/1PM - not in the sense of a melancholic, emotional missing (though I thought I might, given the fellowship), but in the sense of the regularity and encouragement that came from it. Huh. Four weeks left. :-)
Oh, finally, I'm getting a little worried about my energy levels... I feel like I need a siesta every day, but I worry that then I won't sleep at night. But especially on Sundays (strangely), by 4pm I'm zonked, and unless I get a second wind, that's it. It's been like that for as long as I can remember. It happens in Dunedin too, but mainly on Sundays. I wonder why - and what I can do to stop it. Any thoughts? Preferably not changing my diet, 'cos food rocks. :-P Is it a need for exercise (seems ironic)? The hyperchondriac in me would like to think it's Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but maybe it's somewhat normal. What's funny is when people tell me that the amount of energy I have surprises them (that shocks me, actually). So maybe I'm kinda bipolar in my energy usage - manic at times, depressive (physically) at others. Would appreciate input, but it's not something I'm too worried about, but you can guess how it effects my life. Makes me drink a lot more coffee/energy drinks/sugar for one, gives me mood swings... Ah, probably mountaining the mole-hill again.
Not that I've ever seen a mole-hill...
Thursday, January 15, 2004
1 week 'til IWT comes to... Gisborne!
Well, I had to think of *something* for a title. Honestly, I don't even have the discipline to NOT blog when I have nothing to talk aboutl But I am looking forward to IWT, in its own way. I'm not as... um... excited about it as I once was, but I'm sure it'll be something special. It'll hit Wellington in about 5 weeks. Which, theoretically, I'll miss, but I'll probably get to see it in Porirua, Lower Hutt (Huutt Recreation Grounds) or Upper Hutt (in Harcourt Park! Remember Harcourt Park, Abbey? We visited there. Can't believe they're doing IWT there!)
So, the Sundance Festival starts today, in the States. Wish I could go - almost went when I was in the States, but er... didn't. :-) If I could be bothered, I'd keep updated as to what's hot and what's not, but I figure that that can wait until they come out here. Oscar nominations are due in a day or so (unless you live in Europe, HA! The Academy 'lost' the European ballots! Good luck sorting that out!) But I'm really looking forward to the Oscar night, hopefully I can get the survivors from last year together (i.e. Abbey and Jeremy - Celia's gone), and anyone else who's keen. I should have planned my papers around it... :-P Oh, and you can just give me your money now, by the way. Hehe. RATS! Celia STILL owes me that $19!!! Ah, well. Wonder where she's at...
Tempted not to comment on the record-breaking number of comments yesterday, so I wo- oh. I have. But I guess it all balances out, yeah? And what with Katie not updating, and Jeremy not blogging (I could remove your link... but you can't tell me you didn't want to blog about your day today - you mass e-mailed about it, for crying out loud! :-P ) I'm a mean mean man. Wait, that should go inside the parentheses. Tough. I meant to finish that sentence with... surely I should be getting more comments. But I didn- oh. Wait, done that joke.
La-di-dah... loving singing, at the mo'. In the choir. We perform at Te Papa on Sunday, and at the Fringe Festival opening next Thursday. Good fun... but that's partly cos of the people. I never used to love people so much. They probably intimidated me somewhat. Still do. Somewhat. Less somewhat. Much less. Um, so. Stuff. Music, mmm, music. My music taste is... changing, significantly. Through the rock opera '!Hero' and three music video stations, I'm actually starting to appreciate... hip hop. Just a little more. It scares me, but at the same time, makes me want to drive down George street really slowly, with big bass. No lies. Also liking more... conventional, popular music. Some of it. Even Kiwi music. Can't *afford* any of it, so it'll be a slow change, but am distinctly appreciating it more and more.
Then again, am aware of nothing cooler that a ripping guitar solo. One day, that skill will be mine. This keyboard's funky. In a bad way. I'm working on fixing it for my Mum (and me, while I'm here).
Hey, just noticed - I haven't complained about my life *once* today! Must have been a good day.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Anyone know of a good way to play E/G#? Best I can come up with is a 422400 chord.
But then, I don't know of anyone who reads this who would know. Uh-uh, I don't know anybody. Oh boy. So, what's Sammy got to say today, hmm? At this stage, I don't really know myself. It seems Gus was the only one who took up the theological challenge from two days ago, the one he himself offered. But that's cool, I s'pose - let's start with that, then.
Let's start with my own presumption, that God is in fact omnipresent throughout all time at the same, erm, time. Omnitemporal? What this is based on is irrelevant, but it's what I believe. All those verses are explainable: quote three - rhetorical, quote four - Jesus on earth was at times voluntarily non-omniscient (not an ad hoc answer, there's evidence for it). The first two are a little tougher, but the first is explainable by God's holiness 'repressing' the thought ('came it into my mind' means more than just remembering - it implies a consideration, almost a "claiming' of the thought as part of onesself. I'm not making this up.) The second verse is an extension of the idea of holiness - God sees the best in people, and resists seeing the evil until it must be dealt with.
But more importantly, and in tune with the first argument about sin, God's allowing people to choose. It puzzles me somewhat why "it repenteth (God) that (He) made... beast(s)" - but there'll be a reason. But God is not saying that he didn't 'foresee' the sin (in my understanding, He saw it at the same time as it happened *and* when He created the sinner). In terms of responsibility, He clearly and completely put the responsibility for sin on us when He gave us free will (oddly, legal education might help you understand this), which was in itself a gift.
I admit, I'm still a little confused about Genesis 6:7 though - why would He repent of something that He did, knowing He'd repent of it? The only thing I can think of is the definition of 'repent' being other than as we know it. To the trusty concordance! Well, it *can* mean a desire to change one's mind, or more acceptably here, to be grieved. Ah, or 'to sigh!' What I can work out is that it grieved God that He made man and THEY made the choice to sin. Yes, He knew they would, but in His mercy He let us choose. Understanding free-will vs. predestination is very important. Oh, hey, this answers all the questions. And I'm pretty sure that's a most satisfying answer! Very interesting site, actually... with some interesting links.
So, overall, while challenging, I don't think this argument knocks down the idea of an omnitemporal God at all. But I'd say the idea of a linearly scient (not technically omniscient) God would fit with my conception of Jesus (although he was granted revelations of knowledge at times). That's enough of that for my blog, feel free to disagree. And one other thing (odd that Dave was the only '04 flattie NOT to comment!), while I did beat Bing at Risk at first, it's true, once we swapped armies toward the end of the game, he won fair and square. That's, er, not as stupid as it sounds.
Okay, now for something completely dissimilar. Ah, you thought I was gonna say DIFFERENT, didn't you! :-P Actually, not quite. Jeremy's just commented again. About the God thing. Mentioning that maybe 'omniscient' didn't include future events because they hadn't happened. Well... God must know the future, surely - what about all the prophecies? I suppose He could engineer the future to fit with those prophecies, theoretically... He does say He is "I AM" - implying an infinite, ever present existence ("He who was, who is, and who will be").
To be honest, I've always found discussions regarding the qualities of God (or, in the past, 'A god') rather pointless, for various reasons. Firstly, it seems highly unlikely that we *can* know or understand most of these things, no matter which 'God' you believe in. I mean, I believe what is said about Him in the Bible and in personal revelation, but that cannot begin to encompass the wholeness. Secondly, it is clear that the truth on this matter cannot be reached through logical arguments (for surely one would have been reached by now!) like most of philosophy (the 'love of knowledge' [= 'philo' 'sophy'] is rather a love of arguing!). I much prefer something more logical and solid, like defending attacks on Biblical inerrancy.
Wow, I spent so long on this! As per, I guess. I was gonna talk about other stuff, but it's getting late... fact is, the last two days have had two pretty bad moments in them, but I felt better towards the end of both days. I am looking forward to heading back (home?) to Dunedin in 5 months, but painfully aware that that's a long time to be doing nothing. Am struggling with the jobless thing again, to the extent of questioning God's power (rather than seeing His will). Hard times indeed, but I trust I'll get through them. If I struggle to rejoice (rather than rejoice to struggle), you will understand, yeah? I'm having trouble getting up in the mornings (heh, but for a different reason than usual) because it's hard to see the point - plus I'm sleeping atrociously. But I try to look on the bright side, you know? And all I can think of is that these seasons of famine are clear signs of God's power - and love. They always (always!) come within days of me surrendering my life to God 'whatever it takes' - literally inviting Him to do his 'worst' (best), in the knowledge that it will work out for good. But I can't take much more of it right now, and I do wonder if it's faithlessness to ask Him to stop again, at least to let me catch my breath... Heh, and now I think of Job, and realise I'm just a drama queen, and I don't really have it that bad at all!
Sorry, just got to cut the self-pity to mention a story I heard about an American missionary going over to some third-world country, and starting to pray for that nation with the pastors of the church there, because they were so poor and hungry. The pastors stopped them and said "you don't understand, we should be praying for you!" These people realised the value of poverty and the deadening effect of prosperity. This goes back to that whole satisfaction thing (Abbey?). Sometimes you feel like you deserve or need a break, need to be comfortable. But we'll be comfortable when we're home.
But then, even now that's easier said than accepted. I read this books about hunger for God arising from its physical counterpart and all sorts of things, and I love that stuff, but appropriating and using it is another matter! As I'm sure you all understand. Knowledge ain't power if you don't use it.
But then, to put everything into perspective, I got some beautiful new shoes yesterday.
Monday, January 12, 2004
Wave to Anna and Ruth, and Scott too!
Anna and Ruth are first time visitors recently, good to see you, hope you comment! :-) Ruth, I'm gonna respond to your e-mail shortly, I've a little behind in that area. Oh, and I'm gonna e-mail you too, Scott. Hope you're all well! Now for tonight's blog, you're in for a little treat. I've got something on my mind, something that's been niggling and naggind me all day (aside from the folks), and I'm gonna try and work it out AS I BLOG. That's right, you get a ringside seat into this process, and all for the low, low price of... er... of... a comment! Ha, like that'll work. :-)
Cell group on Friday was good, as ever. Played a long game of Risk, which Brendan (and I? :-) ) won. Then we prayed for each other, Dave, Becs and Bing and I. Good stuff, some good words for some of us. Maybe that's the niggling... maybe I'm supposed to be acting/praying about some of that stuff. Well, surely yes, but I don't think that's it. This doesn't feel like specific conviction, it's like I've forgotten something... or like I'm fearing something. But it's not too bad.
Yesterday was a bit of a bum day, I've been sleeping terribly lately, what with being allergic to my cats (and therefore my house). That's no excuse, though. I was somewhat grouchy with my parents, and they happened to (maybe in response) pick on me somewhat. I wasn't overtly bad, but I could have been much better about it. Am I still bitter about that, do I need to as for forgiveness? No, I think I've been through that.
Today was quite cool, hung out with Bing and Katie, and Charlie for a bit. Got sunburned feet and face, d'oh. I think I'm still wounded by my ex's constant urging me to get a tan. Hehe, not really. Church was pretty good indeed, didn't go this evening after all, just the morning. Huh, no idea. Is it the fact that I'm planning on job-hunting again tomorrow, perhaps? That could be it... I haven't prayed about that yet, stupid, I know. My prayer-life's been sporadic the past few days, sadly. With the job-hunting, I know that I said I was cool to not have a job, and that I was chilled with it being God's plan... that's true, I am. And I know he may not want me to have a job for the next 5 weeks either, that... I'll deal with when I come to it. I don't know what I'll do otherwise, or especially how to deal with my parents (who are bugging me worse than before, and together), but God'll provide a way. I'm not at peace about this, am I? Even I can tell that. That must be it. And the reason it's made worse today is because I just wiped out my Thursday this week, and with Parachute next week, that wipes out that Friday and the next Monday... it'll take a miracle to find something to fit that pot-holed road like a glove.
Ooh, mixed metaphors, how romantic. So that's that, I need to pray (amen) about that situation (amen!). I'm feeling overwhelmed (which I should pray about). I feel like there are so many things God's pointing out to me over the last week - my weaknesses in humility, service, love, prayer, worship, selflessness, faith, boldness, purity, wisdom, discipline, maturity, selflessness (that deserves a double mention)... in fact, I can't think of a single weakness he hasn't lit up with his Spotlight (ignorance of sin, that'll be a weakness, too :-) ). Interesting. When you put it that way... there must be a reason. Is it to humble me, like I prayed for, seemingly so long ago? Is it to prepare me? Is it so he can use me, for in our weakness is revealed His strength? Or d, all the above? Lord, help me! Are these situations linked? I'm used to trials (well, not really, who is?), but not such subtle ones! Oh, I wish that I could be greatly improved by reading truths, without the action!
But then again, no, I don't. It's a cliche, but that would take all the 'fun' out of it. Sad but true. No, wait, happy. :-) So I will pray, tonight. As soon as possible. As soon as I've finished, I guess. After I read my Bible. I would pray now, right now - and perhaps I should - but then who knows when I'd finish this blog? Wait, I'm not putting this blog ahead of my God, am I? Blog idolatory? I should watch out for that, but no, I don't think so. Ooh, stream of consciousness, how schizophrenic.
So, let's see how I respond to comments with my mind on other things...
Scott - hey, isn't this guy cool? He's the man! Love ya, bro. Thanks for keeping up with my insane ramblings of a hungry, hungry hippo (note to self: new title for blog?)
Donnave - Wow, you never fail to express your love, that's pretty darn cool, I like that. Not quite so comforted by your 'i have seen many people die of what they most fear", but at least it's honest! :-) No, seriously, that's very interesting. And worrying, but worrying is not gonna change the way I'm gonna die, not a jot or tittle. Speaking of Yancey (I'm following the comment, here), I just bought 'Soul Survivor', which should be interesting. That and Dosteovsky's (okay, I'm not even gonna try to spell that) 'Crime and Punishment', which is, erm, odd. I mean, that I bought it, because, y'know, why? Guess I always wanted to - I'll blog about it when I start reading either of them. Actually, I lie, I didn't buy them, they were exchanges for the Booker Prize winner "Vernon God Little" - I'll talk about that anon. Oh, bum, I just went posh. Shortly, soon.
Ab-sinthe (cos you go to our heads) - thanks for the e-mail! If you're worried about having a long conversation, don't - it'll take me about eighteen years to reply, knowing me. :-) Well, maybe a LITTLE less, but we'll see. You should blog about your experiences with the influences of books, I'd so read that! As for the aeroplane story... well... that actually WAS what I was thinking, and I wasn't laughing as I thought it. I just figured, 'heck, if it's gonna happen, might as well do something very valuable with it. Why else would I think it was gonna happen if I wasn't supposed to prepare?' But as I wrote it, I guess it was with somewhat of a humorous slant, so I'll let you live. But you should jump inside my head sometime, you'd go mad with laughter. Or without, either way.
Taking a breather... blogging, though theurapeutic, always makes me seem to myself more messed up than I am. I like to think I'm just expressing what everyone else thinks in their own terms. :-)
Jeremy - I always value your opinion, but I opted to flee. I do understand your concerns about mankind exposing themselves to things that may challenge, shake, shock or disturb them - in many respects, I agree. I got half-way through this book and weighed up the pros and cons. Perhaps I shouldn't have even got that far, but I did. I could actually notice an incredibly strong detrimental effect following reading, for at least 30 minutes, it was incredible. I'm sure if you experienced the same thing, you'd say the same thing. You might say that that experience, though unpleasant, would enlarge me or my understanding in some way - correct me if I'm wrong there. I think that although there is certainly a chance of that, I think it would be far more detrimental to keep exposing myself to that. Additionally, the experience wasn't something new, as I'd mentioned, it was disturbingly similar to a part of my life (and my self) that I didn't want to return to (I don't believe I've surpressed that part, in the negative psychological sense, more... killed it), and so something I felt I wouldn't gain from returning to. I guess it's really personal taste. Though I would not recommend you read it (as in, a large chunk of it), you may be interested in checking out the book, to see what I'm talking about. It'll be in all 'good' bookstores. Pick a page. :-) Oh, and as a side-note, I don't want to imply that I'm rejecting more than just that specific book, I like to keep an open mind (within 'reasonable' [if you ask me to define that, I'll shoot you] bounds).
Gussio - Cheers for the link, as an old Philosophy fan, with a drop of Apologetic in me, that stuff always intrigues me. I have my thoughts (admittedly I haven't spent much time on them yet), but I'd like to see what other people think. So I'll post the important arguments here, and link to the page properly too.
...if God knew in advance that the sin would be committed by the human in question, then how can he punish them for committing it? Assuming we accept that God is the creator of all things, and that God is omniscient, that means that God must take responsibility for everything that happens....
[Author quotes various verses]
Jeremiah 32:34-36 - And they built the high places of Baal, ... which I commanded them not, neither came it into my mind, that they should do this abomination
Genesis 6:5-7 - The LORD said, I will destroy... both man, and beast... for it repenteth me that I have made them.
Luke 18:8b - Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?
Mark 13:31-33 - But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.
Suppose that God plays the role of the scientist and we play the role of Schrodinger's cat. Once God opens the box and peers into our future, He fixes the reality. Therefore, He chooses to view time and events linearly along with us, to grant us free-will. I also propose that He has opened a few boxes, and set in time or reality, certain boundaries that will take place. Thus, His prophets are proved correct.
Now, I'd just briefly like to say that we can probably easily conclude that Luke 18:8b is a rhetorical question. Like I said, I have my thoughts on this, and I will reveal them. The first of the two arguments is obviously the more, er, damning, but let's look at them both. Especially you, Gus, you go first (or as soon as you can :-) ). I'm keen to know what you think.
All right, that was enough philosophy, back to me. No, just kidding. I'm gonna re-read some of what I wrote, so that I can be re-convicted to pray about all that stuff, but I'm feeling much better just knowing I'm gonna pray about it. I may even get a decent night's sleep tonight, eh? Cyber-hugz to all,
Samwise the not-so-wise.
Friday, January 09, 2004
The Rain in Spain falls mainly...
Downwards. True story. So, back home am I. I realise I need to blog, that there's a lot I need to say, but... yimminy. Calm before the storm. Anti-pathos. Like, I want to say so much, but I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Plus Abbey just got the best of my creative juices. BUT for the hardcore blog-junkies and groupies (wave to Donnave and Gail!) I will press on. But maybe I need a pie first. It's 11pm and I haven't had dinner. And this will take at least... 30 minutes to write. We'll see. Pie is being nuked as we speak. As I type.
All right, the talking bit. Gordon Bennett, where to start? I hear the beginning is a (very) good place, okey-doke. The journey was fun, very exciting - the past 8 days have been the perfect start to the year. In retrospect. :-) The weather down there was crazy - four days of heat wave (over 30 degrees), one of drizzle. Which was the day we did most of the outside shooting. But onto that shortly. The flights were... interesting. Nice little 20 seater planes, and you could see right into the cockpit and out the front windscreen. But more on *that* later too. Had a great time, a short time, with my Gran. Got to know a little more about her and her life, which I had wanted to know about (which surprised me!).
Mmm, pie. Which reminds, this little holiday gave me an extra 10kg - my Mum's gonna die of fright! Her and my Dad went off for their own holiday, they get back tomorrow. But my gran - and especially my Aunt - fed me SOO much good food, and all home cooked/baked whatever - except for today's trip to the pizza restaurant for lunch. But they have massive desserts every night, and soft drink everywhere. But my Aunt has very slow internet access (9.6 on a 14.4), so it's a trade-off. Perfect for a small holiday. ;-)
Oh, and it was great to hang with my Aunt and Uncle (and cousin and her husband, for a day) on their farm. Had a blast, even when working in their fields with my good clothes (got poo on my new pants, argh!). Yes, I did farm work, stop the presses. Reading, I did a lot of reading, as I thought I would - The Purpose-Driven life isn't quite what I thought it would be (read - got no big revelations from it yet); but neither is What's so Amazing about Grace? (read - got incredible revelation from it, and I highly recommend it to all and sundry. Whoever that is. But seriously, I'd recommend it even [I think] above all other books I've ever recommended [bar One, clearly]) Grace... that's something God's teaching me heaps about - and it's something I know very little about, which is strange, being perhaps the most important aspect of Christianity, and also the most attractive. The book especially talks about some parables I've always struggled to accept (the guy hiring the labourers for the same wage, for example). Speaking of which, I'm still quite confused about the (full) meaning of the parable of the unjust steward (who gives mega-discounts to his master's debtors)...
Also reading the book my Mum got me for Christmas, 'Vernon God Little' - she said it was recommended, but I reckon she got it because it had 'God' in title. Although it's definitely an interesting book, it's quite detrimental to me. It's from the perspective of an angry, cynical, hateful, depraved 15 year-old boy, and talks like that. This is bad for me because it rings so many bells, if you know what I'm saying. I don't want to return it (I returned the book my parents got me for last Christmas because it was unsuitable - my parents think I'm being literarily closed-minded), but I'm not sure what to do. It *is* an interesting book, though. Plus they talk about Nacogdoches a lot. :-)
All right, the filming. I had no cause for nerves - there were no big surprises. There were four other people there doing what I did, and they were all local high-schoolers (interesting people, though, we had fun. Took them a day to call me 'weird' - in a caring way, natch). There was the director, the camera-man and the sound guy (all very friendly and relatively inexperienced, although skilled), and that was it. Very low-key. It was a very interesting 3-Day shoot, a very useful experience - plus the director said he'd write a letter of recommendation, as well as call me back (possibly for pay) when the main shoot goes ahead (maybe April?). So it was all I wanted, and as good as I could have hoped. Oddly enough, I'm still unsure if that's what I want to be doing for 40 years - I'm not sure whether that's because it was only a small experience, or because (as has been insinuated) I may not be a film-maker for that whole time (as in because I'd change careers [music???], not because I'd die young/be raptured. But possibly more on that later). There's nothing else really very interesting to say about the shoot... I've got about 15-20 mins of behind the scenes footage, if anyone's interested (I don't expect it). Be assured that any further advances on this experience will appear right here.
What else is there to talk about... mmm, my aunt's brother's son (my cousins' cousin) had his 21st on Tuesday (after the wet 10 hours of shooting) at my Aunt's place - and his mother had just been rushed to hospital at 2am that morning, so she wasn't there and his Dad hadn't slept. The father is a lecturer at a Theological college in Auckland (would have liked to talk with him, but his mind was understandably a little dazed), and his kids are admittedly quite sheltered - but very friendly and fun-loving. Seeing as I was there only other young person there, I hung out with them and amused them. I used my Sam the Glutton persona, which they hooked onto quickly - it wasn't tough with all that incredible food there!
Oh, okay, one more thing (I think there's other things, but I'll talk on them if I remember them). The flight home. While the flight to Timaru was bumpalicious, the flight home was a near-death experience. Almost literally (is that possible?), in its own way. See, I'm not a heights person, I'm somewhat ashamed to say. I used to be fine with them, but not any more, oddly. It's not the hitting the ground, it's the actual falling. I mean, I'm happy to say (proud, actually, which I need to work on) that I'm not afraid of death (maybe the object of a later blog). I look forward to it, in many ways. Some pain frightens me, true. But the idea of free falling is for some (illogical?) reason linked with terror in my brain. A terror that feels so remote, small and fake at this point.
Oddly, I love the view from an airplane (what's up with the crazy patchworks on some farms?!), but only *in* an airplane. If I suddenly got removed from said vehicle, and started plummeting... not a pleasant thought (!). I'd much prefer to crash, strangely. Okay, you see where I'm going. I was in the back seat, the flight was bumpier than I've ever been on before (and I'm a very experienced flier - pride again!) - especially when landing (the runway swung like a pendulum, about 15 degrees in both directions, very fast!). So this flight was an occasion for some spirited (Spirited) communion with my maker. I finally got some peace about it (although I was worried that God wouldn't let me die that way until I had peace about it! Do you think He'd let you die the way you're absolutely petrified of dying? I suppose that goes back to the issue of 'grace' too...), to the point where I was planning (!) on witnessing to anyone else who fell with me (mainly the woman beside me) while we fell, and deciding whether it would be better to call my parents' mobile (post-witnessing) and leave my last message (risky while falling) or to film a message (would the tape survive). Oddly enough, this all coincided (!) with the chapter on the Spirit of Crucifixion (the will to die for God) in the book I was reading on the plane (Abbey's "The Prayer Life" book - almost finished!).
Sooo what's my point? No point. Just an important event in my day. I'm not sure whether it will have any lasting effect, unless I have another 'near-death' experience. Or even without the 'near'. Although, I felt strangely comforted that if I did die young (which I have a vague inclination may be the case - I'm thinking before 40, but I think it's more than pointless to think about this point beyond being ready), it wouldn't be today. I just think it was an attack - and not the first of the year - perhaps this year will be bigger than any of us thought...?
It feels funny to know that Jay picked me up from the airport and I didn't mention this, but he'll read about it here. But that's the way I am - I talked to Bing about something today, or rather, didn't, but he'll get an in-depth e-mail about it when he checks it next. Is this a bad thing or not? Nah, if I needed to talk about it then and there, I could do it. I think. If not, I'll face that when I discover that!
So another very-open blog, in a slightly different way. It's unburdening to talk about weaknesses here (or anywhere), and humbling. Which is totally something else I want to work on (you know, one of the few areas ;-) ), knowing that God gives grace to the humble. That sounds selfish, heh. I can be selfish at times. Yeah, that was tongue-in-cheek too.
Okay, this blog is giving the clear impression that I'm unhappy with myself - very not true. I wouldn't give who I am for the world! Or at least, I hope I wouldn't. No, I love who I am, and who I'm going to be. I just see a big difference between the two, and my goal (if anything - I struggle with forming goals, because I don't really know where I'm going/where I want to go) is to move from one to the other, step by step, day by day. Fresh start off with a different hand to play. Oh man, that's an old jingle. But er, back on topic, that's one of my main passions in life, self-improvement/growth. This blog is somewhat of a record of my journey, I guess. Man, J2 just played a New Kids on the Block Music Video. Double man, it's 12:12! This took 70 minutes!
That's gotta be worth at least 10 comments! :-)
Saturday, January 03, 2004
The sweet sound of an amazing dog.
No, I'm not stoned. That title does make sense. You'll understand why, shortly. But first, a little chat. I can tell that a lot of you guys are temporarily away from the 'sphere at the moment - reduced comments post NY, reduced blogging - so I hope you're having fun. I'm going away myself, in 8 hours or so. I should get some sleep! But first a little tale about where and why and when.
I'm pretty sure I've alluded to 'The Waimate Conspiracy' in my blog, it's a feature film being shot in a small town in the South Island where, coincidentally, my aunt and uncle live on a farm. This is a low-budget film, so everyone working on it are volunteers - meaning experience isn't too much of an issue. So I've offered my services, for what they're worth, and am flying down tomorrow for a three day shoot, and will return on Thursday. The actual main shoot will be in April, but I dunno if I can make that. So I don't know what I'm doing (Production and Camera Assistant are what I've been told so far, as well as a possible unofficial "Behind the Scenes Documentarian"), and I've only been promised a little monetary compensation for the flight down, and I don't know anyone... but I'll take what I can get, yeah? This sounds like a whopper of an opportunity, yeah? Then it's odd to me that I should be feeling so apprehensive. Out of my comfort zone, I guess. Wot a chicken. I'll be praying that I'll make the most of what I've been given, that's for sure!
So that's... big and scary! But exciting. I dunno if I'll be able to use the net much, which is why I got some more books from the library today. I've finished my Revelations book and study (which coincided [!] with my reading of Revelations in my reading guide), which I'd HIGHLY recommend people doing - it's an incredibly important book to understand, and deeper than I thought. I got the books 'The Purpose-Driven Life' and Phillip Yancey's "What's so Amazing about Grace?", both of which I'm very excited about reading - at a time when I'm hungry for purpose and struggling with giving and receiving grace.
Which brings me to Dogville. An absolutely brilliant, artistic, convicting film by Lars von Trier (Dancer in the Dark). It stars Nicole Kidman (who is incredible) as Grace (spotting a link here?), a stranger (Christ-figure, on one of many levels) wandering into a very small American (definately American, although I don't think that's that important [?]) town, wanted by the mob and the police. Check a review of it for more information, but I'd highly recommend it to all but the squeamish - there are some hard scenes to take, not least of which is the ending. But speaking as a cinephile, this is an incredible movie, beautiful, intense and important. But also as a human being in this day and age, and also as a Christian. The definate themes of humanity, grace, redemption, forgiveness, betrayal and vengence are powerfully examined. Plus the credits are cool.
On that note, this film and something I saw on TV yesterday has made me think about the 'underdogs' of the Bible - but not in the traditional sense. I've always somewhat resented the fact that Jacob tricked his father into giving him the blessings, while Isaac got gypped. And Esau with the birthright, and things that don't seem to make sense. It got me to thinking that hey, God loves them just as much (although Hebrews says 'Jacob I loved, Esau I hated' - this surely means 'Jacob I chose, Esau I did not', for God loves all men) - so missing out on the blessings must have been more of a blessing for them, in their own way. Additionally, the idea of judgement is always a hairy one, especially temporal judgement - like Sodom and Gomorrah. But I'm coming to understand somewhat that although places and people may be judged in this life, it is in fact often a merciful judgement - saving them from much worse. Now obviously this is not always the case, and only God has the authority to do so, but it's a lesson for me. It helps me understand God and His ways a whole lot better.
Oh, and I finally got a card today that made me sing "Take me home, country road!" Thanks, babe, I had a gut feeling it was still coming, that you hadn't forgotten me. :-) Beautiful card too, great message. Love you lots. And to the other girls who wrote cards, you all rock. And they were all really personal, I love that. Ah, I feel loved. Which, Sam just realised, is something I've been praying about recently! I'm a sad, sad man.
No, no I'm not, I'm joyful and sensitive and emotive, that's what I am, and proud of it!
No, no, not proud, er, contented. And humble, contented and humble. But I'm not proud of that. :-)
Wherever you are, have fun, I'll see y'all soonish!
Friday, January 02, 2004
What a hot day. Feeling hot hot hot. Feeling hot hot hot.
Mmm, hot and tired. And full, really full. Wot a crazy two days. Be forewarned, there will be no deep discussions during this blog, because, er, because my brain has melted. Which gives it an odd smell, kind of like gravy, with some curry powder in there too.
Nic's place: 31/12, 6:30pm til midday 01/01
Well, this was fun, we had a bit of a picnicy-type dinner with sausages and chicken and salad and stuff. 'Twas Nic and Bing (Bob) and Dave O' and Dave P and Becs (who's coming back next year! Yay!) and Dave's friends James and Erin and me. And Rach and Jo Brown came up after, and we went to a beach and lit a fire (naughty us!) Sang some songs, chatted, ate "s'mores", threw "s'mores" at each other, and had a Good Time. Half of us crashed at Nic's at about 3 (?), and slept (some better than others! :-) ). Then I led the Browns, the Ng and the Pom back to my place...
My place, 01/01
Where I had a shower! Oooooh yeah, feeling cleeean. I tried calling Abbey and Penny, but the phone just kept ringing, and they have no answerphone. :-( Once I was clean (mmm) we made some pizzas for lunch (mmMMM!) then went on a tour of Wellington.
Tour De Wellington
Top of Mount Vic first, where I recalled going with the Abt team way back when. Down to the (artificial, but lovely) beach, where we started to get weird. See, we kept thinking we saw our imaginery friend John everywhere, and kept saying "Hey John!" to everyone who looked vaguely... far away. That devolved into "Hey Joan" and "Hey Fabio!" So we made our way past the 'market'
Various excersions later (including the 'free crocodile ride' and the 'Te Papa 'detour'' and the 'throw Rachel into the ocean while some tourists film us' and the 'lets get an icecream while the girls go pee' adventures), we went home, and then off to Dave O's place in Paraparaumu, about 45 minutes away.
Dave's place, 01/01 evening
Same crowd as the night before, minus Nic (she went to Tauranga that morning). We had a BBQ and a spaaaaa. And a swim at the beach (!) and a spaaa again. Then we played Risk, which was fun. Very fun. Guess who won? And very strategically too, I almost felt guilty. Then we laughed at Rachel's underwear, which took the pressure off. Okay, it's not as bad as it sounds. That only took 90 mins or so (the RISK, man, the RISK!), and we cruised on home to my place, where we all crashed.
My house, in the middle of my street. 02/01 (or for you weirdos down under in the States, 01/02)
The girls left at about midday, but quickly came back because they missed us. And some jandals. Then us boys got a wacky idea and went and played... golf?!? Which was surprisingly good fun. Must be the company. Lunch followed (at 4:30!), Bob (bing) and I bought our Parachute tickets, and the Fellowship was finally broken. We went our separate ways, weary, but peaceful.
So what will 2004 bring, apart from one extra day (haven't had one of those for 8 years, man!)? I estimate there will be more relationships in our (large) circle down south, because there was a shocking sparsity this year. Last year, I mean. No one in mind (not for me!), but that seems possible. Personally, I hope I'll keep growing on the foundation God's set for me, maybe get a job, maybe go on a mission (next year?), maybe work out what I'm meant to be doing next year, maybe trust God a whole lot more, maybe have less 'down' times, maybe maybe maybe... who knows? Who cares? Bring it on!