Don't make me use my handbag!
Monday, May 30, 2005
What? I want to blog??? I must be…
STUDYING! Yep, sure am. Had a pretty good day off today, very nice. Profs is more flexible than I thought. More on Profs later, I want to follow up on some things from my last blog first. But I’ll keep that short.
Following that last blog, I had life group, where I basically led a study on “The Practice of the Presence of God”, emphasising the blessedness of a continual, intimate communion with the Father. Which sounds hypocritical, but my guys know where I’m at, and that I struggle with this too. But it was good, and I hope (I think) they got something out of it. It was a pretty cool session as a whole, anyways.
Saturday night, after the party… oh yeah. Hold up. The party was really good. Fun, and I think everyone had a good time. A small group of us stayed up until 2am chatting. Of course, I had not completed my required 1 hour of prayer for that day, so I had a late night. Thank heavens there was no 9am School of Pastors! Speaking of getting off topic, the 21-day challenge (1 hour of prayer a day) has officially ended for most of us. Even though it was really difficult (I had thought it would get easier!), I still value it greatly, and hope we do another one later on in the year. And that the prayer momentum builds up in Cutting Edge a whole lot more, like it seems to be doing.
RIGHT. So my 2am prayer. One of the things I prayed about, in detail, was – naturally – my whole struggle with relating to God yadda yadda yadda. All that jazz. What I did somewhat differently, though, was that I made a list (I mean, I prayed in list form) of what my expectations were. I was specific about what I was praying for, and specific with reasons (usually by analogy to other Christian walks I’ve read about). I basically described what I believe a relationship with God was supposed to look like, and pointed out the areas where ours fell short. This was different, because I used to just say “God, stuff ain’t right between us.” And that made it harder to describe to other people, too.
Now, I don’t know if that made any difference in terms of getting that closer relationship, but it did do something…
Sunday morning church (including a long and funny puppet show from the little kids). Ross Pickworth, an Elder, was speaking about something God had been talking to him about. Ooh, the sermon’s on the Elim website! I’d highly recommend reading it… So I can just cut and paste, cut and paste… anyways, to set the scene, Ross was saying that this was a full on conviction thing, whereby God has been showing him his failings and stuff like that, so it was also a sermon of confession, I suppose. The whole sermon was one of those ones that you just don’t really hear much. Right, let’s quote…
“This morning we are going to look at several aspects of SEEKING GOD and really getting to KNOW HIM…. GOD wants us to DESIRE and ENJOY our relationship with Him SO MUCH that WE BOAST about IT… NOTE: God wants us to Understand AND know Him. Not just know he is God…
WHAT WILL HAPPEN if you COVET such a Relationship? If we ACT on it?
RESULT 1 = The Holy Spirit will RAIN DOWN ON YOU to stir you up, and will water the seeds and you will see more of His fruit in your life.
RESULT 2 = An increased sense of God as YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER.
RESULT 3 = Release from struggles/sin that you can’t cope with on your own.
RESULT 4 = You will find that before long YOU WILL SEE YOUR TIME WITH GOD AS A VITAL NECESSITY.
RESULT 5 = A new sense of JOY, PEACE and PRAISE for God.
I challenge you to ask God to give you the desire to want to spend time with Him.
Not to get anything, more power, or to get blessed. Just to be with Him, to pray, to sit and listen to what He is saying, to show that you care and want to be with Him. What are you going to do about this? Do you want a real experience of your relationship with God? Are you happy with how real He is to you? Are you happy with your lot? Is this really as good as Our Father wants it to be?”
That’s enough from Ross, this is MY blog! Basically, it was a point-by-point summary of my prayer the night before. I had said: God, these are my expectations. This is how it should be. The next morning, Ross said: These are God’s expectations. This is how it should be.” And this is how it can be.
But that’s not all. A friend (I don’t like to name names sometimes, not that it matters) came to me in the afternoon and chatted with me. She basically said that she’d felt strongly that the message was for/about me (not just me, but you know), and had been praying a heap for me during the service. Which is awesome in itself. She had some other thoughts (mentioning Psalm 27, especially verse 10 – that verse, and many others in that Psalm, are kinda a recurring theme for me), which she wasn’t sure about (and I’m praying about). The point is that it was yet another confirmation that God really wants what I want too! My friend kept describing her relationship with God, and how enjoyable it was, and how God wants the same for me, and I totally agree.
The question is, of course, what’s the problem?
If you could sum up the key focuses of my life over the past few years, it would all come down to two questions: 1. What’s the problem? And 2. What’s my passion? Those questions have really defined me. And not in a bad way, not in a “not knowing the answers is ruining my life!” but in a “these questions are my journey, and that’s exciting” way. I’m just happy to know that I’m not the only one of us who wants me to know the answers to these.
Okay, that was longer than I promised. Whups. What I really wanted to talk about… hehe, just kidding. I did have stuff to say about Profs, and being a lawyer, and that, but I think I’ll leave that until later. Is there anything else y’all oughta know… oh yeah. Josh and I officially passed the Oscars baton over to a new team (3 out of 4 of whom are bloggers, but the team may not be full yet), which was… a little sad, actually. And I had lunch with Thida today, which was great, and it seems she’s keen to move to Welly the year after next – and Malcolm will probably be up there next year. Go figure.
I keep meaning to make an address book of my friends, especially from down here. So that when I travel, I can catch up with people. Maybe it would be better if you guys did that, sent it to me, and I’d take out the people I don’t know. Just kidding. I think.
11 weeks to go until I could be moving on up to the East Side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. 77 days. Wow.
I don’t even know if that’s a long or a short time. Huh.
EDIT: Lost... explained!?
EDIT 2 (For Carmi and Abbey): According to a Profs classmate, Shortland Street is running a storyline where a character is dying of cancer, and is desperately seeking someone to have his kid. So, y'know, precedent!
Saturday, May 28, 2005
"The most excellent method of going to God is that of doing our common business without any view of pleasing people but purely for the love of God."
It's been a while. Sorry. I haven't really been busy, I just haven't had much to talk about. Profs has been good this week - although there was a stressful time of being overwhelmed by the quantity of work, the simple fact is that the quality of work required isn't that high. As I expected, I think. Law school is all about the facts, the law, research, application... Profs is all about skills and drafting and interactions. Not so much stuff that can be *learned*. Which is quite reassuring, but it leaves me feeling a tad unfulfilled. And unsure what to do with the free time that seems to hit me in large, unpredictable chunks. And if you know me, you know that that leads me into periods of deciding how best to spend my time (as it flies past in the background), which inevitably leads me into questioning the meaning of my life.
Which I guess is something to talk about. I feel I have an excellent grip on the meaning of life, and the meaning of my life. The problem is not so much in discovering it, but in applying it. My first mission is to have a relationship with God. But in a way, that often seems... unrewarding. Perhaps the fault lies with me, but times of awareness of communion with God are few and far between. And yet, they're real and powerful enough to keep me fighting, in the knowledge that such a relationship is obtainable. But all this is old hat to you lot; the number of times I've complained about it... well, I suppose it's an indication of its importance to me.
My second mission, that of loving mankind, is easier to accomplish. And yet, that aspect of it that involves showing my love for people by revealing God to them... is it simply an excuse to say that my problems with the first mission creates problems with the second? It's certainly fair to say that it's a distraction.
And the final part of my life mission is my specific life mission. Which we all know I haven't discovered yet, although parts of it are slowly becoming clearer.
As most Psyc students will be aware, having such important parts of one's life almost entirely out of one's own control is not a Good Thing. The human mind needs a sense of control - or at least a sense that Someone Else is in control (such as a parent, in our youth, et cetera). I think I'm doing pretty well at not snatching control of these three things back from God, if I may say so. The struggle, then, is in trusting Him with it. Which all brings us home to... faith.
Interesting story, actually. Jeremy came into my room the other day, all excited about something (insert snide comment here... :-) ). Turned out he'd acquired his plane tickets to New York. He mentioned that actually holding the tickets suddenly made him excited about it all. Unbeknownst to him, Hebrews 11:1 struck me - "faith is the substance of things hoped for". The tickets were the substance of the future trip to New York.
Although it would be nice to somehow tie that in with what I'm talking about in the rest of my post, that wouldn't be truthful. It wasn't a big revelation or anything, just... cute. Kinda. I suppose I could say that my trust in God that He will solve this puzzle for me gives me the strength to continue as if He already had... but to be honest, rather than faith, it's much more resigned. It's more like a quiet hope, or worse, a wish. Not a confidence, but a "I have to believe it, otherwise I'd freak." Which could perhaps be "faith as small as a mustard seed"... who knows.
As Rich Mullins said, "Well, if passion can lead to prayer then maybe prayer can give us faith/And if faith is all we've got then maybe faith is all we need."
So, party in 9 hours. Some people suggested that we rent Singstar, which I don't think we'll do. It would be nice to have something *different* though. So it's not just your usual party... I'll think on that. I reckon we oughta move the fooseball table out of the lounge... maybe into my room. Not a bad idea. And open up Dave's room.
Life group in 2 hours. It's only the three of us - seems like ages since we had a proper life group. I really ought to be one of the most important things we do down here, and yet, it should be one of the most natural things we do. Interesting balance.
Oh hey, thanks to Kristy for your letter. I appreciate it!
While examining the updates on the Rent blog (which I'd consider linking to, but a) I think the two readers who are interested are probably already linked to it, and b) it's only gonna be up until the movie opens) I discovered that that !Hero musical (Bing remembers!) that I was discussing last Summer has a double DVD of the show out. More exciting is that Manna has a copy. So I'll be buying that sometime soonish.
On the other hand, I have a habit of not watching the DVDs I already own. Strange.I guess it's because it's quite a commitment to sit down and watch a DVD when you know you can always watch it later. It'd be easier if a lot of people wanted to watch it, but there aren't too many people I know with similar tastes to me. On that note, I wonder how many hours Jeremy and I have accumulated watching TV and movies together... what with Buffy and Angel and Firefly, and Lost and the Simpsons and Scrubs, and film festivals... can you think of any other things we used to be into, boss?
Good heavens... I can't tell, but I reckon this'll be a huge blog. Which I think is great, because it's choca block, but I know a lot of people will skim a lot of it. Bad people! BAD people! No cookie for YOU!
My fingers are REALLY sore. Like, arthritic-sore. I'm gonna post this before I get RSI/OOS. See most of you tonight!
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
The quick brown blog jumped over the lazy... erm... dude.
Does anyone ever wonder who discovered that "the quick brown fox et al." covered all 26 letters of the alphabet? And how long it took them to come up with the right phrase? You could do a great sketch about that, y'know...
"Jeff's crazy banana purchase maxed his stepmother's credit card"... no....
"Linux users eat tulips whilst humming Mozart's favourite symphony"... that won't work either...
"The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" - YES!
What's this, though? Sam blogging at 11pm? Shouldn't he have gone to bed ages ago, so he can wake up in time for Professionals which starts at 8:30? No no, not today. Due to a stroke of fortune (or other), we have a luxurious 2pm start tomorrow! But wait, shouldn't he be working on that huge assignment due on Thursday, or studying for the 6 hour test held on the same day? Nope, can't be bothered!
Well, that's not the only reason, naturally. Turned out to be a little easier than expected (not much, but enough), so I'm taking a break. Very nice. And, interestingly, a nice answer to my prayer about finding enough time to do my assignment *and* not stress about it *and* relax and have fun!!! Go God! Go God also for getting all three of my visiting family members to church on Sunday - and actually wanting to be there, another nice specific prayer answered! Too cool.
Nothing big to report here, which is probably for the best, because judging by the large lull in the blogosphere, you're all too busy (studying?) to read too much anyways. I WILL say that it seems to be official: Jane and I *are* having a birthday party on Saturday night, 8pm, my place. Bring a drink or snack, a pretty single girl, and a present. Or I *suppose* I can settle for just two of the above. You can choose which.
Note: 'drink or snack' is ONE option. And two drinks or snacks is still one option. As is a drink and a snack. And presents are optional. I have nothing more to say.
Or do I????
No.
EDIT: Except this link for my iPod iDolisers out there...
Monday, May 23, 2005
Fulfilling my oblogation at 6:50am...
... which is neither a good name for a band nor a good idea. But a guy's gotta do... er... stuff. Or his brain will burst.
So it's been a week at Profs so far, how's it been? Profs itself has been pretty good, actually. Got some cool classmates and teachers, and although it's all a lot of work, it's reasonably simple - once you get started in the right direction. Right now we're drafting Court documents for advocacy, which is a semi-creative technical exercise, meaning it's fun until it gets boring. Got Thursday off last week, but had to do a heck of a lot of study then.
Yeah, it's been a rather long week this week, as predicted. A lot of stuff happened, not all of it good. SW:RTS (Episode III) was pretty good, but not worth blogging about. Just worth seeing (don't think I'll see it in the theatre again, but it's been a long time since I've done that for any movie). Matt's party was pretty cool, I brought my sister along. Graduation was Funky-Fun, and it was great seeing my family, and going to dinner at A Cow Called Berta with them all, and Jeremy. Shame Dad wasn't there, but we had some fun. And I'm glad they all came to church the next day.
But, as the previous blog indicates, it's been a bit... struggletastic, too. But this actually had nothing to do with my family, so I was able to have a good (busy) time with them and take my mind off it. And I'm not going to say what 'it' is, partly because most of you don't want to know, but it'll suffice to say it wasn't pretty. And that I'm over it, or rather, through it. Barely.
So it's Monday, and a new week. I'm the MC for life nite (sic - hehe) tonight, so I'm glad I got out of all that by now. I usually like to have a few days before these kinda things to think up some one-liners, but oh well. I'll come up with something, but it won't exactly be gold.
Maybe it'll be fool's gold.
EDIT - Don't blame it on the... sunshine???
EDIT 2 - "Israeli researchers have discovered the region of the brain responsible for understanding sarcasm." Oooh, real useful.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Though He slay me, yet I shall praise Him
The cry of man's anguish went up to God,
"Lord, take away pain:
The shadow that darkens the world You have made,
The close, choking chain
That strangles the heart, the burden that weighs
On the wings that would soar,
Lord, take away pain from the world You have made,
That it love You the more."
Then answered the Lord to the cry of His world:
"Shall I take away pain,
And with it the power of the soul to endure,
Made strong by the strain?
Shall I take away pity, that knits heart to heart
And sacrifice high?
Will you lose all your heroes that lift from the fire
Wisdom toward the sky?
Shall I take away love that redeems with a price
And smiles at the loss?
Can you spare from your lives that would climb unto Me
The Christ on His cross?"
- L. B. Cowman
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Not a proper blog.
Sorry. Too busy to blog right now.
FYI: My Birthday is 1 June, but hopefully our party will be on May 28, to accommodate Gus (I'll keep y'all updated). I'm not *interested* interested in any of the girls in my Profs class, naughty Aunty D.! And Gus, I think you made a tactical error - Dave's Ashburton party is on the 3rd/4th of June. So you should be in Dunedin by then, unless I'm missing something.
But the real reason I'm posting is to post a NEW question of great importance: Could 40 midgets defeat one lion in a stadium battle (no weapons, I presume)??? Leave your thoughts below (and your intelligence at the door).
Monday, May 16, 2005
Did anyone guess that my ‘Profs Course’ was in fact a ‘Professional Wrestling Course’?
Well, if you did, you’d have been wrong. Although there was a time, pre-Otago (actually, and for some of second year) when I was seriously considering becoming a pro-wrestler. Oh you may laugh, but just you see if I don’t lay the smack down on you, eh? JUST YOU SEE!
This is a busy week. We’ve already watched one Star Wars movie, still got two to go (tomorrow night at 7pm-ish if anyone’s a keen bean). Obviously I’ve got Profs and a lot of homework (YES I’ll talk about it soon, just hold on!), I’ve got Ceroc, I’ve got a birthday dessert and a 21st, I’ve got my Wednesday Lost+ TV night (which I might tape and skip), I’ve got dinner to cook, e-mails to write, blogs to post, I’ve got my sis, Mum and Gran visiting, I’m graduating, I’m going out to dinner with my family, I’ve got the Man Challenge ’05 (1 hour of prayer per day – MAN that gets hard!), I’ve got some research to do for Dad (could be quite fun, actually), Life Group (only one – had to cancel the other!), church, School of Pastors (I’m on the ‘worship team’ for SoP!), Life Nite… oh, that’s next Monday, that’s okay.
But you see my point.
And fitting in some ‘me’ time in there as well… and some ‘me and my guitar’ time, that’ll be a toughy. Hehe. I’m actually getting very near to playing a guitar solo that doesn’t make your ears bleed. Well, not in a bad way, anyhow.
Some people seem to think that I like being busy. Well, I do and I don’t. It’s bitter-sweet. It’s probably more apt to say I like having things to do/accomplish, but I also like (NEED) me-time, social-time, and God-time. I mean, duh, who doesn’t? But that’s the paradoxically ideal ratio for me. Good ol’ paradoxes, what would we do without them? Nothing, I guess. And everything.
So thanks for all the comments on the last two posts. I’m surprised at how many people expressed surprise (and some degree of disturbance [no, NOT in The Force!]) over my sleep-taping, but I assure you, it was a purely scientific experience which, in Abbey’s words, clearly “confirms… that (I am) SUCH a fun person to know!” Gus, that Pope comment was actually worth looking at, so thank you. And Aunty D… well, you’ll have to ask Jeremy himself (who I believe misses you too!), but I have heard whispers in the night of an attempted resurrection of his blog, in a new form (i.e. I’ve flat-out forgotten the address he told me).
There are 10 of us in the Profs class (3 guys, 7 gals), plus 2 doing it long-distance (2 guys that we will see four or five times), plus two lecturers and a secretary. We’re all recent graduates (surprisingly; the photos around the classroom – yes, it IS a classroom, which feels so odd! – of past classes have many older faces in them), some of whom have jobs already, most of whom don’t. And some of whom don’t even know if they’ll do law after Profs (I’m NOT alone!) The people are interesting to some extent – we seem to have formed two groups today, I’m the only guy in the 6-person one, which seems to be the one with the more interesting people (no, that’s not saying anything immodest about me, I mean the others).
As for the material (which is HEAVY! MAN! I’d forgotten how much law lecturers/teachers like their materials!), there’s a heap of reading, but it’s all reasonably relaxed stuff, although very complex. Wait, I should clarify – not complex in terms of content, i.e. the legal issues we’re encountering, those are really straightforward. But we have to look at rules and precedents, and practice notes and case notes and blah blah blah… lots of intricate, somewhat pedantic stuff (not that I don’t see its value).
So there you have it. Surprisingly close to what I expected. I will be busy, but I don’t think I’ll be anxious. Unless I get too busy, and don’t get enough time for myself. But then, I’ve only had one day, so things could change. One more piece of info – on finishing the course (which may actually be a few days earlier than I thought, the 11th of August), generally there’s a period of a few weeks to a couple of months of waiting for the High Court to convene in order to admit us to the bar. I’d quite like to do it with my class at this stage, meaning I may well not leave until September at the earliest. And I’d still like a going-away party, I think.
Speaking of, Jane “Bruce” Lee and I will most likely have a conjoint birthday party again this year on the 27th or the 28th. It’ll be a low-key affair (though for once, I’m not going to ask for “no presents” :-) ), because Dave Hawkes’ 21st is the next weekend, and that involves travelling to Ashburton, which I think is more important. Plus it’s Jane’s 19th and my 23rd, so they’re not important years.
Although you get the meaning of life if you add them together, so I’m told.
Until next time!
EDIT - Arrested Development has been renewed for a third season! Hurrah!
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred trackbacks!
Intriguing emerging film marketing strategy - the film blog. Everything is Rent!
Thoughts -
#1 - Kung Fu Angel... I *guess* that's within character...
#2 - Anthony Rapp still struggles with dancing the Tango Maureen. Then again, that's fair enough - "It's hard to do this backwards." "You should try it in heels!"
#3 - "There will also be a nice surprise element to the (Tango Maureen)." Eh? A surprise element... if that's Mark and Joanne getting it on, I'm gonna fume! Seriously though, I reckon it'll be a flashback to Mark and Maureen's relationship, which would be pretty darn cool.
# 4 - The sound recording is produced by Green Day's producer, Rob Cavallo. That is a nice touch, that'll bring out the right amount of 'punk'.
# 5 - Julie Larson thinks Chris Columbus really gets Rent. That's reassuring.
# 6 - I just got Julie Larson's post title - it's a twist on Mark's "How Did We Get Here?" from 'Halloween'!
Proper blog coming soon, and I won't forget to comment on your comments!
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Last night I watched you sleeping…
Okay, creepy title, I know, but it’s from a song. And it’s relevant. Because last night I was thinking of something I’ve often thought of doing, videotaping my sleep. Because that’s like, 1/3 of our life that we never really see (or experience?), and I’ve often wondered how often I change positions, and stuff. Come on, I know I’m not the only person here who’s wondered this. Anyway, last night I thought, ‘Why think about it, just do it!’ So I did.
I taped 1 second for every minute of my sleep (which was annoying to start with – I kept almost getting to sleep and then hearing the camera switch on, which is a bit of a shock!), giving me about 8 minutes of footage in night vision. And the results were surprisingly… boring. But it was worth trying, y’know. I was surprised at both how much I did and didn’t turn – I went through long periods of motionlessness interrupted by short periods of ‘heavy wash cycle’-style turning. But I looked remarkably peaceful when I was sleeping, and I didn’t snore (I thought I would)! I even woke up a couple of times and stared at the camera, which was very freaky, especially because I don’t remember doing it.
So yeah, not much to report there. But speaking of reporting, I’m about to ring the ODT. My Dad’s getting me to find all the articles his Dad (Eric – but for some reason all us grandkids called him Dumba) wrote for the ODT way back when. Which I’m quite looking forward to, actually. Well, not the hours it’ll take to search, but reading some of Dumba’s articles (although they’ll be all political and boring :-) ).
Still haven’t read much of my Profs readings… I’ll do that soon, because they need to be done by Monday morning. Monday… starting Profs. The only thing I’m not looking forward to about it (except the possibility that all my classmates will be dull and too focussed for my wacky (!) personality) is not being able to sleep in every now and then (apart from Saturdays, I suppose). In fact, that flexibility was one of the reasons I had for not wanting a 9-5. I like to go for late night wanders or prayer sessions in the park, or just times to think about things (it often gets into brooding, though. And singing “I am a man of constant sorroooows, I seen trouble all of my days.” Well, that last part ain’t true. I don’t know the tune well enough).
Actually, there’s a point. God’s been subtly but effectively changing my attitude to work, and I think April (the 5 weeks of full-time full-on work) was a huge part of that – showing that I wasn’t just selling almost the entirety of my weekdays, leaving me with the short weekend. Rather, with a proper job (not even a dream job, but just something slightly interesting), that it becomes part of your life – and not just a compromise. I explained that very poorly, I’m afraid, but just know that the times they are a-changin’. That’s not saying that I’m not still looking for my dream job, whatever that may be, but that I’m much more at ease with doing something like law, at least for a short while (a year or four).
Before I wrap, I’ll just revisit my last post, because it was (clearly) a huge thing for me. And I’m really glad I wrote it down, because the excitement has faded considerably, and I would have forgotten it if I hadn’t. But the last few days have shown me that it’s not as wide a passion as it could have been. It’s not the passion for a single-Spirited church (although that would be cool); it’s not even a passion for an incredibly close life-group or prayer group (although those are mightily funky as well). The passion is specifically team-directed – as in, all members are equal (although there’ll need to be a leader; I suppose the point is that there’s no constant one-way ministry); as well as task-oriented.
And I also need to say a big thanks to all who commented. That’s a post I really wanted comments on! If anyone missed it, they should check Abbey’s parallel post, which looks at a similar point from a different perspective. Aunt Donnave, it’s funny (and great) that you commented – Jeremy and I had just been talking that day about how you (and Gail, cos you two go together :-) ) hadn’t been commenting for a while. But I knew you were still reading, even if you weren’t commenting. Thanks for the encouragement!
Anyways, I’ve got things I need to do today, and I’m sure you do to. Thanks for reading this! I’ll leave you with these links, and my love:
Girls in glass houses… (fun, funny, but easy game).
Walk like an… King Tut’s face reconstruction.
Here's an article that discusses the #1 Christian porn site. It’s actually a really good ministry for those addicted with porn, as well as those in the porn industry. Controversial, sure, but I reckon it’s great!
Guitaring LEGENDS – playing double guitars, two guitars at once, awesome slap-style acoustic sounds… That’ll be ME one day!
P.S. One week ‘til Star Wars Episode III! THAT’S exciting (hey, I’m allowed to geek out once in a while, right?). And Jeremy got the first two eps on DVD, which we’ll probably watch next Tuesday night, if anyone’s keen. BOOYAH!
Monday, May 09, 2005
Penetration
I’ve been laughing at the folly of this. Getting up out of my warm, electric-blanketed bed, into my cold room, waiting for my computer to boot up after 45 minutes of already being in bed and relaxing. It’s almost midnight, and I’ve already blogged a little under four hours ago. So this must be important.
The title I was originally thinking of for this post was ‘breakthrough’. But besides my dislike of that word (and clichés in general), my decision was based on the fact that what I’m about to describe doesn’t qualify as a breakthrough because it’s too small – not absolutely, but relatively. It’s only part of an as yet unrevealed whole. But it is a part that warrants the folly my first paragraph represents. It is a revelation about my future.
And hopefully one that I won’t wake up tomorrow and think of with embarrassment, but rather with inspiration.
I was reading Bill Hybel’s Courageous Leadership (which Pastor Mike has been ‘encouraging’ [read: almost demanding!] us to read for over a year. Thanks to Carmi, I’m now reading it. As a background point, just before that I was reading an old Billy Graham biography, which I’ve been reading for a while. In fact, when I was in Wellington a week or so ago I saw a video of a Billy Graham Crusade on Shine TV, and stayed up to watch it so I could put names and voices to the faces I’ve read so much about, and see what I thought.
The chapter in Courageous Leadership that I was up to, chapter 4, is entitled ‘Building a Kingdom Dream Team’. The author describes meeting a now-elderly Billy Graham at his home recently, and finding that his team-mates were building their own houses right next to Billy’s. These people had worked together for 45 years, and now they want to die together! I thought this was cool enough to comment on, partly because of the coincidence that it’s in this book, but mainly because I know I’ve often (foolishly, I hasten to add) daydreamed about living in a community with all the friends I have in Dunedin, long after we have all graduated. Why? Because they’re people I love, and they’re all so cool (for you readers out there… yeah, I’m probably talking about you!).
But the thing that really got me – and I mean really got me – was the author’s description of a moment just after an awesome God-time at the end of a seminar, where the church team was experiencing this intense moment of God’s presence, and they were doing it together. I quote:
‘When we lifted our heads and looked at each other, it was obvious we were all thinking the same thing: “This is as good as it gets – being powerfully used by God – together”’.
And I knew instantly that being a part of a team like this is an absolutely vital part of my future.
Its like when you’ve tasted the most rich, delicious chocolate ice-cream in the not-too-distant past, and you hear someone describe it, and part of you instantly identifies with that description, because you’ve tasted some of that ice-cream before. I’ve known small tastes of real Christian fellowship in my 3 years as a Christian, and it has been such an important part of my walk. This is why friends – real, close, in depth friends – are so important to me, which you will know from my blog. I know everyone loves friends and friendships, but I place such an incredibly high value on them to me personally, that I’m surprised I didn’t realise that this was part of my passion in the first place.
Now, I don’t know if this kind of a team is in my immediate future, if perhaps it may include some of you or none at all, but I’m quite at peace with it not being so. I’m quite at peace with having to wait for it, too – even if it means being a lawyer for a while. It seems that, as this can only really happen between Christians, it must necessarily happen in the advancement of God’s kingdom (because it needs to be a task-oriented relationship). As such, although it could be a part-time thing, it doesn’t seem to coincide with being a lawyer (it could, but I don’t think that’s what I’m looking for - working in a church leadership team is suddenly more appealing). So perhaps my law job won’t be forever.
In fact, in seems my seemingly irrational distress about working in law has its root in this fact – that because I had no dream or goal to look forward to, it (a law job) would necessarily become the focus, the goal, the end; rather than something I did whilst being a Christian seeking the will of God for my life, it would have had to be something I presumed was the will of God for my life. Not simply something to bide me over. If that makes sense to you. The fact that I now have an element of peace about working in law post-Profs is a huge thing in itself.
As an additional point of consideration on this matter, Bill Hybels goes on to discuss that such a team is not a rare or unnatural occurrence, but can be formed or created by a person with the gift of leadership. Now, reading this book has made me wonder whether I have the gift of leadership. Although some have said I have it, I’ve always doubted it. I’ve always felt more functional as a 2nd in charge, or on a leadership team (or leading small tasks or small groups). Never the number one guy, that’s too much pressure. But the fact is, someone with the gift of leadership must probably necessarily have this passion for the kind of team interrelationship that I’ve spent the last 30 minutes raving about. So maybe that’s a part of that… maybe I do have that gift, and thus I am meant to use it.
I could elaborate for hours about the kind of relationship (small ‘r’!) I’m gushing over here, but I’ve really only brushed the surface of it myself, so that wouldn’t be wise. If you know what it is too, then you’ll get exactly what I’m talking about. And if you don’t know it, then that is a huge shame. I believe (as does Bill Hybels, incidentally) that it’s the manifestation of Jesus’ prayer for his followers’ oneness in John 17. Here’s John 17:21 - “(I pray) that they may all be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.”
As a final point (you may be sick of this by now, but I’m hoping that my passion is in some respects contagious, or at least understandable), perhaps this passion is (though I don’t think it is) not just a part of the big picture I’ve been seeking, but is in fact the majority of the picture. That is, perhaps my passion for oneness of fellowship is in fact my calling, that I am to use this passion to encourage, bless, challenge or initiate the same oneness in various Christian groups/organisations/churches around the world. Maybe through a book, or through the internet, or face-to-face seminars (yay, travelling!)… now there’s some far out thoughts!
For those of you who have just tuned in (hah!), I have just found one of the first pieces of a puzzle that I have been toiling and grieving over for the last few years.
I have a dream.
Time is waiting in the wings, he speaks of senseless things, his trick is you and me, boy.
Ticking away the moments that make up the dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find that ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
And you run and run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or a half page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in a quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say
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That’s one of Pink Floyd’s classics, Time. The band played it last night (for those not in the know, I went to the Pink Floyd Experience – and it rocked. Oh yes, it rocked), really well, might I add. And it got me thinking – or rather, realising – that something’s up…
See, when I became a Christian, or even beforehand when I believed in God, one of the best things about it was that it gave an answer (not ‘42’) to the big question, what’s the meaning of life? Which is to say, what is the meaning of my life. And this was no small thing for me; it’s always been a big hairy question in my life. It’s part of the reason I did Philosophy in first year. And, judging by the success of The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, it’s a big question for most of us.
But when this song was played last night, and I experienced that sense of loss some people (especially melancholics, I suspect) get when looking back over the years (“And then one day you find that ten years have got behind you, No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun”), I noticed that something had changed. That the reason I looked at my missed opportunities and lost years with regret was because my day-to-day life as it stands is not purposive, or ‘purpose driven’.
And perhaps this is a reason that I have yet to discover my dream in life, because that would likely distract me from my calling as a child of God. I think I’ve come to this conclusion before, actually. Point is, I’m treating everything as a means to an end, without really seeing what the end is. I get up in the morning and do things – say, back when I worked, go to work – while I wait for clarification. I should be waking up in the morning and saying “as a result of my belief in the meaning of my life, today I ought to do this and this, trying to achieve this.”
This is one of the reasons I’ve been feeling unfulfilled lately.
I think part of the cause for the shift – because I definitely had a better grasp on it in the past – was taking my focus off God. Also, when realising I had done so, putting my focus on some method/technique for reaching Him, rather than Him.
So I need to keep my focus on Him, most definitely. Is that the end, or still the means? I think that’s the end – even though there are things I need to be doing more of (especially in the faith-sharing sphere), my relationship with Him is absolute top. Which is the difficulty, isn’t it? It’s so hard to wake up this morning and say “today, my primary goal is to make this relationship stronger and closer”, especially every day. Hmm, I can tell I need to think about this some more. But it’s a comfort to remind myself (and be reminded) that when your eyes are set on the Lord, nothing else matters.
Oh great, now I’ve got Metallica stuck in my head.
And they’ll probably sue me for that.
Strangely, amongst all the blogs I read (I think there’s over 15), it seems that I’m the only one who struggles (or talks about struggling) with actually meeting with God like I do. I mean, we all struggle with keeping our eyes on Him, and are uncertain about a whole lot of things, and struggle against our flesh, but having the actual relationship itself? Perhaps it’s just not mentioned, or perhaps it’s just me… it could well be just that I’m still a relatively young Christian. Dunno…
Okay, that’s enough thinky-stuff for now, what’s new? The concert was great – split into two halves, the first being general Floyd songs, the second being The Wall stage show, which they do so well! My only regret is that this is the first time in the four times I’ve seen them that they didn’t play ‘Great Gig in the Sky’, one of my favourites – it has the most incredible female vocal solos. They may have intended to play it during the encore, as they normally do, but this time the techies started packing down right after the show, which was a little sad. Still, no complaints, ‘twas a great show.
Today is the first day of the 21 day challenge. Dan’s life group (barring Dave P., who ain’t here so ain’t officially doing it) are committing to 1 hour of prayer every day for the next three weeks. This is pretty full on, and is going to be hard, so we’d all appreciate if you supported us with your own prayers! I’m pretty excited about this, but I know that it’s gonna be tough, because I already did a trial run a few weeks back. That was just before all the hard stuff happened. So, eek! Feel the fear and do it anyway, right?
I still haven’t started my Profs readings after having had them for a week. I’ve still got six days to do so, but I hope this isn’t going to set the tenor of my study! We’ll see. It’s gonna be pretty weird studying again. Not sure if I’m going to get financial support with it, which is a little bit of an issue, so some prayer would be good on that too, but I’m not really worried.
I’m probably switching to BNZ to avoid paying ANZ’s $15 a month fee. Silly ANZ and their bad graduate package!
I’ve been seriously considering, if I leave Dunedin in August/September, having a big farewell party. Farewell from me to Dunedin and everyone here, that is. And if I do, I’d love to say brief thank yous to all the people who’ve influenced my life down here, though that may not be practical! We’ll see. Watch this space for more info.
More to discuss, but I think I’ll leave all that until later...
Friday, May 06, 2005
Conversation Piece.
"The Kingdom of Heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force." That's a quote from Jesus, from Matther 11:12, and is probably the best review of the movie that you'll get from me. I'm off to Man-camp '05 for a day or two, so I'll leave you with an excerpt of a detailed e-mail to a friend, for y'all to discuss:
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First up, I'd like to mention that I first encountered Christianity through intellectual philisophising, et cetera. My conclusion then was that there is no watertight argument for Christianity, but nor is there one against it. So, I continued, whether I believe or reject its tenets, it's only based on faith (or guesstimating, to put it more crudely). From that foundation (which I don't think is a satisfactory one now, for reasons that should come clear, but could have been much worse), it was just a weighing of the Balances of Probability, basically. For and against. Which you could do forever, which brought me back again to the One Question - do I choose Christianity, or not? That was what it all came down to for me.
Here are your questions as I see them, and my responses:
1.What is it that makes Christianity so special that it deserves my absolute devotion above all other possible perspectives on life?
My answer is that it is true. And that it is the truth that we were created for. If I'm right, then that answer would suffice. The question is, of course, whether I am right.
2. More to the point, can Christianity withstand a rigourous logical analysis, maybe after the fashion of Socrates?
Interesting question. I'd say 'yes', although it seems many Christians would say 'no', and say that we're not meant to be able to logically defend something that we're not meant to fully understand. I guess I think it is perfectly logical, and I have yet to be shown otherwise. As I said in my first point, I spent a while trying to see if logic could demolish or support Christianity, and found neither approach satisfactory.
3. Christianity cannot be absolutely logically or empirically proven (some people say it can but I don't agree... and neither did Kant for the record - if I am wrong someone please show me!) but is there more to knowledge or understanding than logical thought (and intuition)?
My thoughts on the first part should be clear - I don't agree either. My answer to the second is a resounding YES - and I think that's also the key to it all. God says in His Word that He chose a foolish path to truth to shame the wise (or something like that). Whether that foolishness lies in the necessity of faith or in the method of salvation (the cross), I'm not sure. But I think the fact of the matter is that Christianity CAN'T be absolutely empirically proven - and God made it that way for a purpose. I'll leave it to you to consider what that purpose might be.
4. Is there also a spiritual way of knowing, and is it mainly through this that we gain proof of God?
Gnosticism was an ancient heresy regarding special spiritual knowledge; the line between this and the guidance of the Holy Spirit is a hard one to draw. The point I'll make here is that I don't think we'll ever gain proof of God in this life time. We may very well encounter certainty of His existence, but proof? I don't think so.
5. And what of the things Christians see as the supernatural power of God intervening in their lives: the healings, the fulfillment of prophacies... These are convincing, but are they sufficient to fully convince?
Proceeding from the above question, I think the purpose of supernatural intervention is not to convince, but at best to reinforce. Or challenge, convict, encourage, bless, whatever. My point is that if there were a way God could make us know of His existence without any possibility of doubt, then that would cause a whole lot of free will issues, which would counteract the original reason for our creation.
6. Also, could it be more a matter of balancing probabilities, rather than finding complete and irrefutable proof? Is putting these fears and doubts aside and fully seeking a personal relationship with God wisdom or irrationality and folly?
The problem I have now with balancing probabilities is that it is completely intellectual. Our relationship with God MUST be more than intellectual. Balancing probabilities is fine if it leads us to committing to seeking God. But when does one stop balancing and start acting/committing? The last question I would answer by saying that it is wisdom, obviously. Life experience tells us that endless contemplation on a matter, no matter how deep it is and how intelligently it is approached, is foolishness - that's how a lot of phobias and anxiety problems come about. If we were to sit at home, worrying and trying working out the probability of getting hit by a car on the way to get takeaways, or that the food might kill or hurt us, to the extent that we fail to act, most people (and the DSM IV) would say that there is a problem there. Why would it be any less true for faith?
7. There is no handbook for life, or is there? And if there such a book, why isn't it more obvious that it is the handbook for life?
I'd say the Bible fits that role quite well - with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. As for more obvious... I'd ask you to think about how you would write the handbook for life. I'd probably start with a list of dos and don'ts, and then realise the inadequacy of that, because I don't want to change peoples' actions, I want to change the people. Which, from one perspective, is exactly how the Bible is written. If you want big blaring letters saying "This is the handbook for life", then how about Jesus saying "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. If you follow Me..." etc. If you want real life evidence proving its veracity/validity, we're back to the first question of proof vs. faith. Or you could just look at the lives it has changed.
8. Is Christianity a man-made phenomenon, or is it from God?
In my (very minimal) research of the Bible itself, I've found amazing facts that persuade me more and more of its divinity. Specifically its authorship (like, about 37 different authors, 66 different books, with such interconnection and no contradiction), prophecies (Messianic and other), accuracy (Dead Sea Scrolls) et cetera. But this is again a question of faith, that is, a question of choice.
9. Why must it be true, rather than any of the other major religions?
To be honest, I can't answer this question. I only studied philosophies, not religions, before becoming a Christian. But from a Christian perspective, I know that Christianity is true. We could discuss the nature of knowledge ("a rational, true belief"?), or agree that that wouldn't take as anywhere. But for me, that knowledge is more than sufficient. And I believe that you can have this knowledge too, this certainty.
10. Is my doubt completely from my own mind, or has it at least partially been spoken into me by dark spirits?
I can't really answer this one either, because no-one really knows. And I don't think it matters. I believe spirits will do all they can to make a person doubt God, but on the other hand, you could be doing enough doubting yourself. I really don't know. I do know that, coming from an ex huge doubter myself, it gets easier, but it is a struggle.
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Those were my thoughts, guys, please feel free to discuss!
Thursday, May 05, 2005
How am I not myself?
I’m getting better. For those of you who missed the subtle (er, yeah) hints of the last two blogs, while things have been pretty good in general, something’s been not quite right. But they’re looking up.
Holy cow, it’s midnight! That snuck up on me fast!
Sorry, I’m a little slow tonight. Unlike my holiday, which is racing by! Why, I start my Professionals course in… 11 days. That’s right. And it’s been confirmed that there are 12 of us in the class. Total. Which will be very interesting… I’d been hoping for a little more, but this will be fine. And I have readings to do, right here. 84 pages, in 11 days. That’s only 8 a day, which is nicer to think about. Meaning… meaning you could almost call me a student again. Almost. Unless you’re a bank, unfortunately. I’m not a student according to the bank, but I am according to WINZ. Grah.
Saw “I Heart Huckabees” last night with Celia, of all people (oh, and J, Ed, and Aaron). That was cool in many ways. About bleedin’ time I caught up with her, she hasn’t changed too much (eh, J?). And the movie, that was a very good movie. Well worth seeing, although some people might find it too… alternative/intellectual, but nah, I think it’s safe. Good stuff. Kingdom of Heaven tomorrow night is the theory, let’s see what that is like.
For Carmi, and all who are interested – there were rumours in the film rags this week that they may be trying to make the entire HHGTTG trilogy of 5… that’s about the only news on that, nothing is confirmed at all. No idea about what’s going on with bloglines, guys, I’m investigating, but I’ve not a glue. Nada. We’ll see – keep me updated if it changes, yo? Yo.
When I was in Wellington, I bought two new DVDs – “Dog Day Afternoon” with Big Al Pacino, and Bob Dylan’s ’94 MTV recording. Neither of which I have watched yet, and I don’t know when I will. They’re added to my DVD to do list of… 6, at last count.
My to do list is nice and long. Nice because… well… because I guess I like having a long to do list, makes me feel like I’m accomplishing stuff. And I am, I really am. Small stuff, but ooohhh, it feels good. I almost bought a cellphone today (from Telecom, because I’m thinking of switching for $10 texts – but then, at the last minute, Vodafone today announced its FREE texts to Vodafone over the weekend plan, guaranteed until some time next year… very interesting… indeed), one with a to do planner and Dictaphone capabilities. True story, just BURSTING with truth there.
Tired now. ‘Til later.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
I'm sitting on the dock of the bay...
Well, not really. Obviously. But I was hoping that Otis could clear out that blasted "So long, and thanks for all the fish" song from H2G2. Unfortunately, the Force seems to be stronger in Douglas Adams than in Mr. Redding. I could have predicted that.
Sunday night and I'm in Wellington. Using an iBook. I feel diiiirty. Pretty good time up here so far, pretty good. Spiritually, I'm feeling a little less... hollow, but there's still a lot of work to be done. I'm definately brighter than I was on Saturday morning. I think the sleep-ins and the realisation that I'm on holiday is helping things in general, but I also believe it has a lot to do with the sizable amount of people I have asked to pray for me. Which is comforting, too. Thanks to Becs, by the way, for the comment! I need your support, so it's most appreciated!
I'm writing this directly into the Blogger window, thus risking the wrath of the voracious blogliminator, but I've also noted a somewhat new Blogger feature - a small "Recover post" link in the corner. I wonder how effective it is... I'm restraining myself from testing it out, I think I'll wait until I NEED it. But it's awful tempting...
I saw a movie tonight with my parents, and Bing. It's called 'Bubba Ho-tep', and Bruce "the king" Cambell is in it. He rocks my world. Very bizarre and funny movie, but the thing that got Bing and I in giggles was when the King (Elvis) went to trade places with an Elvis impersonator, and where does he go to do this? Our beloved Nacogdoches, Texas (this is the second time I've heard pop fiction mention that town since I first heard its name). Funny, I've been thinking about Abbey quite a bit over the last few days. I really miss you, babe, you're a truely awesome friend. But yeah, see that movie if you can (I was excited to read on the Rialto website that it was 'coming soon'... then disappointed to see it was only for Welly and Auckland, and only over ANZAC weekend... then happy again when I saw it was back by popular demand for this one screening only).
Speaking on friends, and, er, Bing, I saw Bing today. Well, I messed that line up, didn't I? But yeah, went to his new Home Church, caught up with him and some of his new friends. Nice people who seem to genuinely respect our Bingster. There'd be beatings otherwise. And I caught up with the Leleuster... okay, Phil, that sounds better. We had a good, though too short, conversation. Worth a brief mention is the idea of us three flatting together if I do move up to Wellington in August or shortly after. That would be too cool for school, and is another big tick in the 'Wellington' box.
So, Les Mis. That's the reason I'm up here. All in all, a surprisingly good (suprisingly due to the theatre size) performance. And I will say that my Dad was the best singer/actor up there (I was a little worried that I'd be really critical of his performance, but I was impressed) without any serious bias. So, that was good. It made me really want to get back into musicals (and to a lesser extent, plays), which I could only really do up here in Wellington. Tick. But there are four or five things that leapt out at me, that I'd like to mention.
Firstly, my Dad played a Christian man who was often praying (usually in song). This was weird. Believable (praise God!), but a little difficult to swallow in other terms. Secondly, there's a line where he (Jean Valjean) sings about his (adopted) daughter's new boyfriend: "Love is the garden of the young." It's such a line of resignation, and it made me think that I'm not getting any younger... Thirdly, following on, I was incredibly touched by the line he sings at the same point: "She was never mine to keep" . The loneliness of a father giving away the only thing he has ever really loved... wow.
But the thing that really got me (I'm sure there were some others) was his death scene. It was incredibly difficult to watch (my mother was weeping), because he looked like Dad will in... I dunno, 20 years or more. And I hope he doesn't feel bad when he reads this. He was so alone (and singing lines like "Alone, I wait in the shadows. I count the hours 'til I can sleep...") and so old and small looking. And it was my Dad.
Something I've never told anyone, although I've often thought about mentioning this on my blog, was a dream I had just over a year ago. I'm a little uncomfortable mentioning it, but I need to. I don't think it was a message from God or anything, but it has affected me so strongly... My parents and I (my sister was conspicuously absent) were swimming in the ocean, near a beach. I swum to shore and stood on a rock and looked back at them. For some reason, I wasn't surprised to see that they were fish, swimming merrily along. And then I saw the shark.
I started yelling at them, telling them to go back to land, because of the shark. My mother got the message and did so, and turned back into a human as she reached the shore. But my Dad started swimming frantically, as I kept getting more and more desperate, screaming at him to change into a human. But it was too late. The shark bit off his entire head and swam away, leaving a headless fish floating in the water.
Although this was too frightening to be considered a godly message (I hope), it's clear what it meant. That I know my parents (and my sister too, although I'm still unsure why she wasn't there... maybe I hadn't talked to her recently at the time) are in serious danger of dying unsaved, which frightens me too much to think about. The fact that my mother survived (and turned human) rather than my father probably has no significance.
Strangely, the only other dream I can remember so vividly was from a very very long time ago, I must have been around 7, and it also consisted of my family (and I) getting killed one by one. This time it was in a ghost train ride at a carnival. Funnily enough, my Dad was first to go there, too. I was never sure whether I died or escaped in that one, by everyone else died.
Lordy, this is all very morbid. I'm sorry if this was uncomfortable for some of you, it certainly was for me. It's something I need to share. Funnily enough, the time that I want to share the most (which seems to be most of this year) is the time that I feel less and less like people want to listen. A lot of that is due to what I mentioned in my last post, about how most of my friendships are being tested. I think a part of that involves changes to this blog - namely that it's not as interesting to as many people now, because I'm not that... relevant any more.
Okay, even THAT paragraph was darker than it needed to be. Gordon Bennett!
So, my cellphone battery has died, and I'm stranded without a charger. So I hope no-one needs to contact me tomorrow...
May, huh? 'Sup wit dat? How can it be May already, hmm? It's physically impossible!
Ice-cream has been neurologically proven to activate pleasure centres in your brain, scientists revealed today. Even one teaspon will do wonders. That explains a lot.
Hey, that song's out of my head! Wow! And STAY out! Stay... stay... DARN IT!
This has been an extremely aquatic post, for me, anyways. Docks, bays, dolphins, fish, sharks... I wonder if I'll ever get back into SCUBA diving. It was pretty darn cool, but pretty darn expensive, and it took a lot of time too.
I talked with Phil today about Chile. I wonder how the Missions Oxygen went... Chile seems like so long ago, and so far away. I would have thought that I would have thought about it more than I do. Ooh, that was neat; did you see what I did there? "I would have thought that I would have thought..." - and that wasn't even intentional. Even my subconscious is arty!
Arty. Like Wellington. There's another tick. But who's counting?
There. I think those random thoughts have more than washed away the random badness of above. The prudent man would re-read what he had written to see if it should be softened somehow. But I know that you can't spell 'prudent' without 'rude', so... "PUBLISH POST".