Don't make me use my handbag!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
I tried Firefox for a day or so, then switched back to Maxthon because Firefox bites.
Mmm... okay, so I'm blogging because I know I should - having been 5 days - but I'm not quite inspired. It's not flowing naturally. I WAS inspired on Sunday, say, but I didn't have time to write anything at that point. Maybe I can pretend it's Sunday, and hijack that inspiration. Not that I can remember what it was about too well...
Oh yes, Sunday. I was buzzing, at least a little. Because I went to church (the ol' Central Baptist) and I liked it - and then I went to a 20somethings lunch afterwards, and I kind of liked it. I guess I got some hope back in that area, again. Now that I've decided to put some more effort into this place.
Yes, now I remember... the message on Sunday was about blindness, and doubt. Alan compared Job, Thomas and blind Bartimeus. Although the gist of the message hasn't stuck with me (well, it has, but it wasn't new to me - basically the idea that doubt/cynicism doesn't have to be a barrier to faith/trust), two things did. One, the fact that Alan mentioned that that was kinda the ethos of the church - it described its members (which makes a heck of a lot of sense, as does something Alan told me personally: that most people there were introverted). The second was a quote from Job, chapter 42 verse 5 - "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You", and how that was like Doubting Thomas. Which seems bland, but the good bit was that despite Job's despairing questions, and Thomas' doubt, they did find God, and for that they were greatly blessed. It was comforting, but I guess I can't explain it too well. I do remember that it made me feel like I fit in there.
Although, I must confess, it was a struggle (and felt awkward) to sit there by myself at the end of the service, waiting alone for the lunch. I figured it was just something I had to get through, until I got to know people, but it must be so difficult for some other people (without the patience of desperation, I suppose!) A couple of people did come and talk to me, eventually, but it suddenly seemed like we had nothing to talk about. Too introverted all around, perhaps (perhaps why I don't quite fit in at any church so far - I'm ambiverted, I need the best of both worlds).
At least I had a good chat with one guy, on the way to lunch (who had been to a similar number of churches in Welly, trying to find 'the one' - if that exists). I felt that I could be myself - although that could have been the four coffees I'd had that morning. Perhaps, more to the point, I felt that I could be Fun Sam. Not lawyer Sam/stranger Sam/dull Sam. Maybe that's what I want more of. Freedom of expression.
Anyway, what else? I have seen four movies over the past five days. On Friday, we watched High School Musical for life group - only because it's the next show Wellington Musical Theatre is doing. I admit, I'd love to play Ryan, that would be great fun - not too sure about my chances, though. The musical could be great fun to be in, but I'll write more about that when I know more... I have my fears about it too... I also watched Shawshank Redemption (it's been on my Must See Again list for ages - I saw it before I really enjoyed that kind of movie, and I wanted to get why people raved about it. Now I agree, it's a great film) on Saturday. Sunday, Dave and I watched Girl, Interrupted (it was recommended to me ages ago - and what with my work, I have this strange desire to see/read about prisons and mental institutions. Facinating. I should also see The Magdalene Sisters, apparently...). Tonight was Lethal Weapon One, which Dave and I watched with Bing, who needed some post/pre-exam mindlessness. And they'd NEVER seen it. I forgot how good it was.
Oh man, bed time. I think that was a decent blog. Decent. Mmm.
P.S. Oh, gee, I guess I should probably mention (slipped my mind!) that my internal struggles have conspicuously vanished, practically. Now I KNOW that that's because of that prayer. It's great, and yet, I'm wary of 'taking control' of any chastening, as I know it advances me spiritually... I'll keep an eye on it. And for now, I'll just enjoy it. :-)
Thursday, October 26, 2006
He read his obituary with confusion.
Whenever blogger eats a post of mine (in tonight's case, weaving its indirect-evil wand of causing Maxthon to freeze up), I often wonder if there is some kind of deeper purpose, or reason as to why that post did not send. I don't think that's the case, but it's fun to postulate.
I was writing a hopeful post. About how - admittedly, not for the first time recently - I'm seeing the hope again. How I have joy back (after specifically asking for it - figures). How I've got some strength back, and I can and will carry on. In spite of everything. Or because of everything, I don't know.
Which is nice.
What changed (this time)? Not sure. Possibly my asking God to stop whatever I was going through, last night. Or asking for joy once more. Or perhaps a good night's sleep, or a sunny day. I don't think it matters, too much (although I think the first two were definately very... effective).
I'm thinking of going back to Central Baptist. Or, perhaps, Spirited Exchanges, for those who were abused by, or are dissatisfed with the church. Or both. I intend to go back to Central (which I said on September 17 I would not return to) this Sunday, as there is a twentyish-somethings lunch after the service. I have a feeling that church bores me. That seems to be the best explanation. God, and people, and growth, and relationships, and service and helping the needy, that excites the hell out of me. But 'church' - being the weekly meeting and service - does (and always has) little for me.
Which takes courage to admit, strangely.
Perhaps it is a matter of 'grit my teeth and bear it', or whatever, but of all the churches I have attended, Central is the one that fits me the best. I might still experiment a little bit, with other churches (play the field, you know the drill), but I intend to make a bigger effort to involve myself more in Central.
This did have something to do with the fact that I had lunch with one of the Central pastors today. But only to the extent that, before we met, the arrangement of a meeting made me think about it in a different fashion. The lunch was great, too.
In other news, if you've got a mo, check out this vital new documentary about how Cyclical Non-Uterine Dysmenorrhea calls into question not only the shaping of world history, but the spelling of the word history. "Our Driven Team of Researchers' Wish...
is to cultivate a national climate where men who suffer from Male Menstrual Cramps will stand up, be counted, and lend their voice to the growing chorus of men who refuse to be stigmatized, cowed, or otherwise repressed by a public who ignores, denies, or otherwise misunderstands this painful malady."
Also, check out this video about a project attempting to make 2D photographs 3D... incredible.
Also, famous authors asked to write a sci-fi story in six words.... "Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket" - William Shatner. "Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so" - Joss Whedon.
Plus: Chuck Norris calms the hysteria...
Monday, October 23, 2006
A little update...
Not that anything's really happened over this long weekend (which kinda bugs me, I often feel like the weekends just fly by, but there ya go... I suppose I did need to relax a bit, and refocus, so that's good). But I'm, erm, 'better' than I was yesterday. Bit of a God-grump then. It's probably a bad sign that I've stopped looking forward to Sundays!
At least now I have some hope, again, and that I believe it'll work out fine. As a friend suggested, maybe I'm trying to find the church I want, rather than God... perhaps, I'm not sure. I'm willing to try anything, so I'll see if that helps! I'm going to keep refusing to let it get me down...
I don't know why I'm in this spiritual quagmire right now. Maybe it's because I need stuff cleared out of my life, or perhaps it's just God's response to my requests to start moving forward spiritually, rather than standing still. I keep being tempted to ask Him to stop, at least for now, but I know that I need to let it run its course. It's been going for quite a long time, though, perhaps longer than I've experienced so far (although my spiritual walk has never been 'settled', to say the least).
I watched "The Last Temptation of Christ" last night - the controversial Scorsese film. It portrayed a very human Christ, full of doubt and pain and insecurity over God's plan. Although I don't think it was on target in most cases, it did help me feel that yeah, He did go through something like I am too. Perhaps more similar than I think.
Anyway, I said this would be 'little', so let's leave this here for now.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis blues again...
Meh.
That's how I feel. Sick of it all. I didn't go to church this morning. I got up, but I couldn't motivate myself. I don't see much reason to. I'm sick of making all this effort for God. True story. I just don't have the strength or support to go through with this all. Oh, I'm not giving up, or anything. I still seek God with a passion, and I always will. Maybe I've just given up on the church.
Which, when you think about it theologically, doesn't make sense. But I don't care. I guess I feel that I've tried - for over a year - to find God in a communal setting, and He clearly doesn't want me to. Which is fine. I've always found God better on my own, or in informal discussions with others anyway. It does have heaps of sucky drawbacks, though. I'll probably end up getting back to church-hunting next week, but I've lost all hope in finding one. Which means I'll backslide. Tough.
Rrrooooowwwwlll, angry post here. I guess I am angry, or perhaps bitter. And there's no point in hiding it - that would just make it worse. Luckily, I'm unable to go the extra step from "God doesn't want me to find Him" to "God doesn't love me" - that's just nonsensical to me. Although logical.
Ah well, wonder how this will end up?
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Notes from the Underground
Huh, surprising. I thought my last post would get more comments! Oh, no worries. Time for an update, hmm?
Does anyone remember what I did in January 2004? Some filming on a film in the South Island - unpaid, etc. Well, that film has since been completed, and has been screening at various NZ film festivals (including the NZ International Film Festival), although not in the North Island yet. I just got an e-mail to say there is a teaser trailer now on youtube, so if you've got a spare 2 minutes and 11 seconds, check it out!
In other news, I got an e-mail from Alan, pastor of Wellington Baptist, yesterday. He wants to take me for a coffee - of course I said yes. After mentioning that I'm looking for another church. Which makes me wonder what I'll say when asked, in so many words, why? I'm not sure any more. Maybe I'm just not in the mood right now, but I'm sick of searching (I know, it's been like, two weeks). I'm tempted to take a week off, in terms of tomorrow morning. Plan B is to check out this Lifepoint church I've been told about. But I'm not sure. I don't even know when the service is.
So, Mike Tyson, huh? He's freaky. "I just want to conquer people and their souls." "I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage." "I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all."
True story.
I got Friday afternoon off. And, of course, Monday off (labour day! Huzzah!) I kinda wish I had something planned, because I know it'll slip by on me. Oh well, can't be helped, yes?
Oh, looks like Dave P.'s just blogged. Check it out. I haven't, yet, so I can't vouch for its quality. :-)
Speaking of work (which I was, before bloglines interrupted me), we had a team meeting on Wednesday afternoon. Basically a strategy meeting, with a lot of redistribution/redefining of responsibilities. And I've been given a whole lot more responsibility, which is terrifying - but somewhat cool. I'm supposed to be flying to Te Awamutu the week after next (it's south of Hamilton), to interview some clients (first time). In Waikeria Prison.
Freeeaky. About time, though.
By the way, House MD started again last night. That was unexpected. How come they didn't resolve the whole "main character got shot in the previous season finale" thing? Or did I miss something?
Who knows.
Finally - I can't even remember if I've remembered this, but a quick squizz of my blog suggests I haven't - in December, auditions for the next big show are happening. Performing in May. What show? High School Musical. Of course. Which I'm gonna go for, even though I dislike it. There'll be another show later next year, too: The Sound of Music. Which I'm gonna go for, even though I really dislike it. And, of course, in 2008, they're doing Cats. Which I'm gonna go for, even though I loathe it.
Then again, I was never fond of Beauty and the Beast before I was in it. I'll keep you updated when I know more info...
Monday, October 16, 2006
Blogging from bed... for Brendan.
This is a first. Blogging from bed, I mean, not blogging for Brendan. Although that would be to, but I'm not doing it. It's interesting how often I've wanted to blog from bed, though, and finally I can. I wonder how many posts I have lost because of an inability to do so before? It's a little... awkward, to tell the truth. Ergonomically speaking. Whatever.
Anyway, thoughts. Thoughts about the love of God, the importance of it. A book asked me tonight (which explains why I feel like blogging at night - because that's when I do my thinking. No wonder I sleep difficulties...) if I had accepted God's love, accepted that He loves me as I am, that he has an active, furious, desparate, intimate love for me. Whether I believe that right now, He's here, seeing to the very depths of me, what I'm capable of, what I have and will do, and yearns for me even in light of that.
And I do. I do accept that. More than I ever had, I know God loves me. And everyone else. And I am longing to share that like never before (which admittedly doesn't say much). But there's something wrong. Why, if that is the case, do I still feel like something's missing?
It's because I don't accept that God likes me. (Revelation of the night).
It's not that I think He dislikes me, or even that He's apathetic towards me. It's that I don't think He respects me, or values me, positively. It's hard (even for me) to imagine how that could work and yet He could still love me, but rationality is something to be trusted less and less these days. Perhaps it's because I've drilled it into my head and heart (with mega-mungo assistance from all sorts of other influences) that He loves me, and I've focused on seeing that. But liking?
Liking has always been a huge thing for me. From a young age, I have actively striven to be liked. It probably started with my older sister - who I knew loved me, of course. Then school, where I actively studied ways to impress people (I started by learning magic tricks, before I settled on jokes... which is why, even today, my sense of humour is so vital to my self-esteem). In friendships and relationships, I often became a people-pleaser, often losing those friendships and relationships beause, in all my seeking, I lost the respect of those I so desperately wanted.
And even now, as a Christian, it manifests itself in passive-aggressiveness. I fight myself. If confrontation arises, my natural instinct is to cover it or take the bullet (so the other person is not put out), and yet I know that such confrontation is important (more for me than for whatever it is actually about). My faith gets confused between doing unto others (love covering all sins), and "tough love". And so I fluctuate, never certain of which way to respond, but knowing neither way is satisfactory.
Anyway, that's a side-note. The point is that I want God to like me, to respect me. And I know that I can't do anything to 'earn' that (especially because I can't even earn it with most people!), so it's something that I have to accept by faith. And I was wondering earlier today (pre-revelation, interestingly) about whether my current feeling of loneliness and absence of (new) friends is something God has orchestrated, or is using (or not) to help me lean on and accept his own friendship. And I prayed, hours ago, for him to show me whether this was true, or just a coincidence. And then - without having thought about it or Him for a while - this pops up. Peculiar.
And for the first time in... a long time... I'm seeing a way out. I know I said last time, or the time before, that I saw a glimmer of hope. And I did. But now I see a glimmer of hope not only that I'll get out of this tunnel (which hey, guess I'm still in) alive (well, with an intact faith/psyche/mind), but that I'll get out stronger than when I fell in. That, painful as it was/is/shall be, it will be worth it.
Which is nice.
But... but but but... that's all still a maybe to me. I know those of you who care about me (and like me - I know you do, and God knows I value that incredibly) want me to have a whole lot more hope and all that (although you probably accept that it should totally be in God's time, not mine), but I'm reluctant to say that I'm there yet. Let's just say I've found a foothold in the rockface, and I'm reaching for the next one.
Because He's worth it.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Dance with me, babe, through the threshold of revelation.
One of the reasons I wanted to buy a laptop was so that when I was lying in bed at night, thinking, having trouble sleeping, and I came up with something to say... then I wouldn't have to get cold, and bored waiting for my desktop to boot.
But last night, I couldn't be bothered getting out of bed.
So, interesting night last night. I read in Hebrews 10:10 about how through Jesus - in doing God's will, not His own - we have been both made righteous before God, but we have also become one with Jesus Himself in doing so. Which happens to ring deeply with Aunt Donnave's suggestion that I read about The Exchanged Life.
Continuing. Next I read a chapter from A W Tozer about God's mercy, and the infinitude of it... and how it actually works in relationship to Justice. And how it's something we need to accept. Finally, I read in Brennan Manning about God's compassion, particularly (but not solely) shown through Jesus' love for us, as well us through others' love for us.
Lying in bed after all this reading - which, might I add, occurred after a particularly good (read: repentant) prayer time, which generally paves the way for such things - was when I got my revelation. I was thinking about what I had said in my second-to-last post (narcissistic? No, I was just taking the next step in my thinking from that point) about how my problems "rested on the assumption that it all had something to do with ME... Whereas God's love - although intense, and personal - dissolves the concept of the 'self'. It is Sufficient and Eternal enough to do that. You don't need a self when you know God's love."
So I was thinking that THAT'S the way to live the Christian life... and when you reach that point (and I have, briefly), you forget you exist. You live to serve, to love. And things are perfect, and complete. And one. It's as if, in forgetting about your life, you remember how to live.
And that's when the revelation hit me: "He who loses his life for my sake will surely find it". I naturally assumed that "loses his life" referred to death (as in the concept of dying to self, etc). But I suddenly realised that it has another meaning - of putting something down, and being so taken up with more important things that you FORGET about it (another meaning doesn't work in the context - that of passive losing, say something falling out of your pocket, or being snatched away by the wind). So it's not so much "He who choses to die to all that makes Him live, for my sake, will live" as "He who choses to forget His life, with it's desires and needs, for my sake, will truly live."
And there is a huge difference there. Voluntarily dying to something is much harder than just forgetting it, being subsumed by something much greater. I'm not saying we don't need to die to our desires, but our SELVES... is different.
I might clarify this later, but for now I have to go to work. Particular thanks to Bing and Lou for your suggestions, very helpful - I will look into them!
Love you all!
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
I've got a new computer...
... at work, anyway. It's very nice. But I'm still ironing out the bugs in my laptop. For instance - now that I can and actually do have sound coming from it (yay for speakers - boo for the LED that I have to switch off every time I go to bed... maybe I could cover it with something. Blu-tac?), I get these random system noises. Windows error 'Beeps' etc that pop up, in no relation to anything I'm doing. And it's hard to narrow down what's causing it, because they could happen every 30 seconds or every 10 minutes. Very frustrating...
Also, Media Center Edition... I'm only really using it for two reasons - one, because of the remote, and two because I paid for it. There would be a third, if we could get TV reception. But honestly, I don't see why people like it better than any other media player. Oh well! The remote is kinda cool, but the interface is awful.
Now, before I forget - thanks, Auntie D., for the most helpful comment I've seen in recent memory. A very interesting topic.
And as for Lou's question... I guess I should answer it. I liked your church, compared to other similar churches. Which is the big 'but' of it all. I dunno, I've just come to the point where I've realised something (two things, actually, but the second is harder to wrap my mind about - something about really disliking some of the things/ways things are done in almost all churches... seeming inauthentic, perhaps, or something...) - I cannot stand (sit!) lecture-style preaching. Now, I don't mean 'lecture' in the moralising sense, I mean generally, a one-to-many preaching style. I was the same in lectures, but I gritted my teeth and bore it, because it was a necessary evil for a limited time.
I guess it just doesn't work with me. There's an area of my brain that has to be activated to learn, and lectures are literally painful for me (but that's geting to another issue). It's KIND OF like the whole auditory/verbal/kinetic style of learning thing you get taught in Psyc (and probably teaching, maybe Med, most areas). But I think the thing that DOES work for me is life-group style, vaguely interactive teaching. Or - at the very least - preaching like there is at the Central Baptist church... I don't know why that's different. Perhaps it's less 'teaching' or 'preaching' and more sharing, more journeying together.
Which leaves me in a bit of a bind, because I can't think of any churches without the dreaded lecture-style preaching. This week Dave and I are trying the church on our street, not for any real reason other than it's there, and we should give it a chance, I think. Next week I plan to try Lifepoint (anyone wanna come with me? I'd appreciate it!), if I can find it. If neither of those happen to work... who knows. I'm very much in need of fellowship/support (not just friendship, but not just mentoring/direction) right now, I know that. I'd be tempted to join a life group instead of a church. But that just seems wrong. Plus, I'd still have to find a life group. Hah!
I was looking over some copies of The Map Mel sent me today... I really missed those Dunedinites. Most of whom I am not in much contat with. I'd really like to go down there this year, but time has run out. I'm afraid I'll regret that, but oh well! I don't realistically think I'll make it next year... actually, who knows, there's a reasonable chance I'll be sent on a trip to interview people next year, maybe that'll be a stop. If there's anyone still there...
Saturday, October 07, 2006
The LORD has bared His holy arm
That you may love God, let Him dwell in you and love Himself through you. - Saint Augustine
Maybe I'm getting it again. It seems like I'm remembering what sin made me forget. The love of God, the "wideness in God's mercy that I cannot find in my own (and He keeps His fire burning to melt this heart of stone)".
Maybe I am. Maybe I'm finding that way out of this tunnel, the other, less trodden path on the crossroad. Maybe, like Eric Liddell, I am deciding to get up and keep running after I fall, pressing on to the goal.
The darkness is lifting, I know that. I'm seeing again that God loves me as I am, not as who I should be (for I will never be as I should be). The self-loathing is being transformed to self-forgetfulness*. I'm looking forward, and up, instead of backwards and inwards. It's still a process, but at least it's movement.
*Incidentally, I think that's a huge part of the problem with the mathematical/logical approach to my issue - it rested on the assumption that it all had something to do with ME - something I was lacking (whether it be by my own fault or Another's). Whereas God's love - although intense, and personal - dissolves the concept of the 'self'. It is Sufficient and Eternal enough to do that. You don't need a self when you know God's love.
Interesting thoughts.
Plan from here: keep pressing into God's love. This in two ways: 1. Personally - more regular quiet times and Bible reading (or perhaps more structured, more focused). 2. Corporately - good heavens, I need to get involved with a church or church group (the hunt restarts tomorrow - I'm planning to hijack Matt's church. At least, give it a go. Wish me luck! Or, like, pray me luck. Or blessings. You know.). Or focus, within my current relationships, more on God. I totally can't do it by myself.
Which is a point. I often thought the desert mystic/hermit kinda thing would be the best way to get away from the world and seek God. But I don't know. Maybe I'm just not grounded enough to survive it, or maybe I simply need other people, even within my very personal and private relationship with God.
So, who watched 3 News/Campbell Live on Thursday night? Or 3 News last night? Check the website for a small clip (not that I'm not it), if you're interested. There's some movement going on, that's for sure...
Labour Day is soon. I want to do something that weekend, but I don't know what. Any thoughts?
Ah, back on (the) track.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Trials, tribulations and... treacle?
When I'm blogging, 90% of the time I don't know what I'm going to write. I usually have a small topic to start with, but the rest just flows. This is one of those blogs, except that I have not got a small topic to start with. The only thing worth talking about... can't be talked about. Two things, actually. I suppose. One of them only one person knows about, and that's probably not going to change.
But I don't suppose it matters. Let's just say that my inner life is now at least twice as intense as usual. Stormy, perhaps. I know part of the reason why, but the real reason is a mystery to me.
Worse - or at least just as bad - is the fact that I can't verbalise it. I'm a verbal person - that's how I think, that's how I communicate, that's why I'm a lawyer. I'm also a problem-solver. When I can verbalise a problem, I can usually solve it, or at the very least, be content with my lack of understanding of it. But people like me (and I know that a lot of you are like this too), that has it's big downsides when something Vague this way comes. Or something partially vague. Because I spend most of my spare time racking my brains for something that I'm just not smart enough to solve, or come to a point of satisfaction or contentment with.
Like now. I know that I have issues with God right now - anger, bitterness toward Him, as well as guilt, gratitude... and confusion. This is quite a dark spiritual time for me. And I'd love to say, as usual, that hard as it may be, I'm going to keep trusting Him. But I'm reaching a point where I'm sick of doing that - not because it's hard, because (at least from my perspective) it doesn't seem to 'work'. Most of the time (actually, on reflection, far less often than I feel this happens), I keep coming back to the same old issues. And if nothing's changing, if nothing's growing... then surely something's wrong in what I'm doing. Or believing.
So, I'm left at a crossroad. One, keep pressing on. Two, turn my back on God. Three, ignore my qualms. And it's a real trilemma, because all three options look terrible. Because I've tried them all, and they don't work. Actually, I suppose there's a fourth, which is probably the one I'll end up taking - stand still until either another path appears, or one of the original paths gets more appealing. Which is an icky path, because it means I have to keep dealing with this troublesome problem.
And it's not a small problem, either. I think it basically comes down to this: I believe in the Christian God, all the way. But I have difficulty accepting that He treats me like He treats everyone else, with love, with grace. With guidance and with acceptance. With respect. A problem that I've always faced, deep down. And I guess the answer to this all (hey look, I'm verbalising it... whaddya know???) is that I have to give up on being guided by my emotions, and rely on faith: trust God. Not trust Him to do anything, really, but trust that He is who I think He is, even when everything tells me otherwise.
Why do I find that so hard?
No, seriously, how come? Is it because I'm a scientifically minded person, always going back to the empirical evidence? Is it because I forget? Is it because it's so unnatural to trust Him?
Perhaps. I think more likely it's because I have expectations of who He is, and how He will act. And it what manner. Which I think are Biblical. I rely on His promises, and He lets me down (ooh, there's that bitterness again). I can't explain that. My faith tells me that, logically, there must be something wrong with my understanding of His promises. Which bring confusion, 'cos then, Who is God?
God the Unknowable? Or just God the Unknowable by me?
God knows.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Passed by...
I completely missed the "one year in Wellington" anniversary of last Wednesday. Hmm. Oh well. At least I caught the Mello Yello thing (in stores now, apparently... for a limited time only!)
Now that Auckland's been and gone... what am I going to plan now? Labour weekend? Or perhaps my next big holiday... Hmmm. We'll see. It's surprising at how tight money is right now. I used to think I had quite solid self-restraint, in all areas. Don't think so. Not any more. I think it's gone down rapidly, quickly.
There's supposed to be an interesting story on TV3 news (or Campbell live) later this week... hint hint... I'll keep you updated.